Month: October 2017

Planning with teenage son: 2nd update

Me: I’m glad you didn’t have a party while I was away, & you did a great job on leaving the house tidy, but I’m fussy about the kitchen bench tops for a reason, and look, you’ve somehow made a big, permanent stain   Him: Oh shit! Sorry Mum. How did I do that? Me: I dunno Sweetie, but that’s why I nag you not to put hot pans straight on the counter. If you were renting this place, you’d get money deducted from your rental bond for that, just so you know… PAUSE Him: Well, when you rent it cheap to me to go live in France or Bali, I’m going to paint it all white, so it doesn’t really matter now does it?  

Blog tales for the Over 50s with positive ageing, dating & relationships

400 Followers at last, so good. But why?

I made it. I’ve been hovering at around 395 Followers for a couple of months, partly because I delete new suspicious ones. Do you ever? Why would a 30yr old Indian IT guy who’s never engaged with bone&silver suddenly follow me? Or a twenty-something Moroccan personal trainer? I’m not interested in fake. So anyone who follows me gets a curious drive-by, if I’ve never had any Likes or Comments before. [Whaddya mean I’m a control-freak? Shucks, thanks for the compliment]. Anyway, I wanna ask YOU why? Why do you read my posts? Which ones are your favourites? I mainly blog about a few topics: My hilarious & smart teenage son (short n sweet, I love these, especially as I don’t really have to do much) Relationships/Attachment theory/long distance romance updates (one of my best friends says she likes these the least, and just deletes the email. I still love her) GPMs: Generalised Personal Musings (politics/social commentary/introspection) Health/food/dance stuff Creative writing (I’ve not done so many of these lately but am hoping they’re going to return) Travel, …

relationships, online dating, raising a teenager, over 50, positive ageing


I haven’t updated about my online dating romance in a while, as things have just been cruising along: month off/week on/daily texts/phone calls & Skype chats 3 times a week or so, all cute n cosy. Till ‘H’s latest visit this weekend. Hmmm, is ‘bumpy’ the right word? No one’s fault really; just two slightly stressed human beings, bringing their fears, their wounds, and their frailty to the fore. You all know I’ve got quite a lot going on: Mum over in the UK who’s health is in decline and in a bit of a crisis right now, plus general exhaustion at the shitty state of the world. ‘H’ packed a small suitcase for this trip with some of the stress of building a new house on a tight budget, and various other creative/financial challenges at home in Melbourne. We tried to set our 4-day table with care and kindness, but right from the airport pick up, we somehow disconnected. Oh dear. Add in a delayed flight, driving home in the dark, missing dinner etc, plus …

Can I put on ‘normal’ like a coat?

I slept so badly last night, here in Australia, acutely aware that back in England, my Mum was [hopefully] being assessed by a community health care team (previous post explains HERE). I’m writing this now as I wait to hear outcomes from my cousin ‘C’, who kindly took the day off work to be there as well. I woke up to scroll my Facebook feed, which is full of #MeToo. SO MANY WOMEN. I keep saying ‘Not you too? And you! OMG it’s nearly everyone.’ Then I see the hurricane has hit Ireland, the wildfires blaze on in California, Puerto Ricans are drinking contaminated water, and North Korea has threatened Australia for aligning with America. For fuck’s sake, this is NOT normal. Or rather, this is NOT what I want my ‘normal’ to be. I can feel the anxiety squeezing my head and chest; I have a low-grade churning in my belly that’s been there for days now. And yes, I’m still cooking dinner, feeding the cat, helping with English homework, and making vague plans …

Blog tales for the Over 50s with positive ageing, dating & relationships

Planning with teenage son No.46 UPDATE

Did he have a party while I was away, like I worried HERE? I don’t believe he did. (And there was a small search for evidence, I admit). However, my bedroom door was open (I’d left it closed), and the bed was made (I’d left it stripped to air). Me: So what happened in my room? Him: Nothing Mum I swear! I’d never let anyone in there, that’s gross. But I was really tired from the party the night before at ‘B’s’ house, and I wanted a good sleep, so I got into your bed… I slept so well, and it smelt of you too… It was very cosy. Me *Can’t continue conversation- gone all soft and gooey*  

She’s slipping through my fingers, and there’s nothing I can do

I’ve written before about Mum, who’s 81 and lives in the UK, most recently HERE- ‘Mother and daughter out for a walk’ , and a longer one last year about the health situation HERE- ‘Down the long lane’. This morning I opened the late-night email I’ve been half dreading for at least 18 months: “I need to let you know that your mum is not too well… her dementia has deteriorated.  She had not been eating well and not been taking her medication for the dementia and is in a very confused state…” F*ck! There’s no other response. I feel sick. And kinda helpless. I’m in Australia, with a son who’s just started his final year of school, a home to run which includes a cat, a self-employed performing business to take care of, and Pilates clients to teach every week as well. Plus my interstate beloved ‘H’ to connect with regularly. I look at my diary, flicking pages back and forth. Can I cancel everything to jump on a plane? Is that the best idea? For …

REBLOG: ‘An Open Letter to Victims and Family Members of Future US Mass Shootings’

Originally posted on Life in the Boomer Lane:
Dear Future Victims and Family Members,  I realize that, while I am grieving for the people who died in Las Vegas, as well as for those who loved them, I must also reserve room for all of you who will have been the victims and loved ones of victims of mass shootings to come. After all, we have a pretty strong track record of this kind of thing. We average one mass killing per day in the US. The same day that the massacre in Las Vegas occurred, three people were shot and killed at the University of Kansas. Another two were injured. It’s a given that you, the future victims and family of victims of mass shootings, will someday, sooner or later, be impacted.  It’s also a given that, when that occurs, people will grieve. They will grieve for you, or you will greive for others. CNN may or may not cover the particular mass shooting that has affected you, as it will depend on the…

Passing through the Pillars of Doubt, as they whisper

Writers & readers Obviously, we’re all writers here. And readers. Some of us are new bloggers, others have multiple thousands of Followers, free e-book downloads available, and perhaps speaking engagements on the Writers Festival circuit. I’d love all those things, I’ll admit it. In fact, I want them. I do. I’d enjoy them, I’m fairly sure I’d be good at them, plus I love to travel and meet new people. So why am I not there yet? I’m 51; I’m leaving it all a bit late huh? Well here come 3 clear reasons… What keeps us from the success we want? Now regular readers of this blog know I’m a theatre performer and dancer. Not as in ‘Look-at-me-up-on-stage-doing-pirouettes’, but as in ‘I have to go worship on the dance floor to the goddesses and gods of Life, Love, Passion, and Release, using my sweat, tears, heart, body, mind and soul’– just your average free ‘n’ wild 5Rhythms dance class attitude. Last weekend I did an Intensive: Friday eve, Sat 1-7, Sun 11-5. Lotsa dancing. I can’t …

Blog tales for the Over 50s with positive ageing, dating & relationships

Planning with teenage son No. 46

Me: Remember I’m going to Perth for a week’s work tomorrow, which means you can’t stay home here alone, you gotta go back to Dad’s. Him: Mum, I’m nearly 18, I can look after myself… Me: You’re not 18! You only just turned 17; you’re still too young. PAUSE Him: I’m 17 and a half actually. Me: [counting months on my fingers] OK, you’re 17 and 4 months… LONG PAUSE Him: Well, in my mind I’m already 30, so what’s your point Mum?