Wellbeing
Published on September 30, 2018
Comments 41

Treat me like a pin cushion if that will help

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Jetlag recovery? Tick. 100% gratitude to be back home in Australia? Tick. Delighted cat and reasonably delighted-but-still-cool teenage son? Tick.

Bullshit lung infection which had me sleeping almost sitting up for three nights then coughing my chest inside out for almost a week? Goddam tick.

I AM SUCH A BAD PATIENT. As in, totally IM-patient. Don’t come near me; don’t sympathise with me; don’t tell me I’ll be better soon; don’t tell me about your neighbour who had it too, and how long it lasted, or the worst cough you ever had…

Just leave me alone to wallow in my pathetic, grumpy, spoilt-brat sick bed, and give me a wide berth until further notice.

Unless you’re my acupuncturist of course. In which case, I want you to come back early from your much-deserved holiday, and stick every single needle you have into every possible meridian point, all over my body, even if they grab or make me wince, and please just help make me better.

Thanks.

[The illness has actually shifted now, but this petulant rant was sitting around in my draft folder, so I thought I’d send it out into the world, to combat my slight shame at being such a gripe.]

What are you like when you’re sick? Do you sponge up any loving care that’s offered, or growl like a grizzly? 

Meanwhile, in gratitude for veggie soup with garlic, ginger, & tumeric, G xO

41 Comments

      • Coyote from Orion says

        Just tried burying my head in the paper….. 13 pages before it wasn’t about effing football. This was from the front. I actually do a bit of work in football and I feel well qualified, as someone who has actual qualifications, that it is actually effing Orwellian

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  2. gigglingfattie says

    I like to have alone time when I’m sick. Lay in bed and just ignore the world. But I will always text my mom and tell her I’m dying looking for sympathy and not getting any from her haha

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  7. jennyrecorder says

    I’m a nurse, it goes without saying of course that I am a terrible patient! Do not give me advice, I will not take it, just (verbally) pretend to care, give me a sick day and leave me to get on with it :O

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  8. Unleashing the Cougar says

    I like some TLC and for the first time in my LIFE, that’s what I get at all times from my beloved! I have never been with a man who’s shown me sympathy or care when I am sick, so I really appreciate it, especially since being a mother means that you always have to look after others, but no one looks after you! Glad o hear you’re feeling better – there is a lot of it about!

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  10. thetaleofanunlikelywarrior says

    I’m currently super sick and lying in my bed alone while my whole family goes out for lunch. Going strong!

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  11. Matt Berger says

    Gripe away!

    I am a pathetic patient–relying on dark humor (“I have the plague”) and doomed resignation to get me through. I rarely seek help, but I will not deny it (usually) either.

    I also offer a variant of my usual “sign-off”:

    Be(come) well, stay well.

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  12. S_MW says

    Love being alone when I’m sick, not that I ever really am nowadays (touch wood) but once, I got really, really ill and I was genuinely frightened. I wasn’t alone then, I’d gone home to my parents to recuperate, but all that did was worry the shit outa them. If I’d been alone, I’m not sure how I’d have coped though. Once when I was sickish (flu probably) in bed for days, I dragged myself up and went and cooked some chicken & chilli soup, even though there were 3 other adults in the house. I must’ve been on the road to recovery by then, but I’m such a control freak. I didn’t trust any of them to do it.

    Glad to hear you’re on the mend, G. xx

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    • bone&silver says

      It’s been great to find out I’m not the only one who wants to be left alone… some people are such sponges for nursing care, & I always wonder why I’m not into it!

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      • S_MW says

        It’s the fuss…I hate people making a fuss when I just want peace. Similarly, I’m not keen on those who are overly bothered about their own illness. I am the kindest nurse, as long as they’re not a complaining hypochondriac. Urgh…people who make persistent groaning noises for attention are the worst.

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  13. Widdershins says

    I take to my bed and refuse to come out, even if it’s the end of the world … because if it’s the end of the world who the hell wants to get out of a nice comfy warm bed anyway. 🙂 … glad to hear you’re on the mend-ish. 😀

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  14. Ann Coleman says

    I’m pretty much a total bitch when I’m sick, which is okay, because it makes people leave me alone, which is what I want when I’m sick. And then I make my apologies afterwards. Glad you are feeling better!

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