adventures, personal
Published on January 8, 2021
Comments 53

My car crash to end the car crash that was 2020

written by

It’s OK: I’m OK! It’s been a month, and I’ve been waiting to feel better before posting. Happy New Year everyone, especially ME, because I am literally glad to be alive…

[Content warning: images of crashed car coming up.]

I’d left home at 5.45am, in a light drizzle after a great night’s sleep, keen to drive the one hour trip to teach my Pilates class.

I definitely drove more slowly than usual because of the newly-wet roads, up and down through the winding hilly rainforest, listening to the radio, looking forward to my horse ride later that morning.

I came round the last big corner before town, no other cars on the road, driving 10kms below the 80km speed limit, when suddenly my back end began to slide out. I corrected a bit but didn’t brake, just took my foot off the accelerator, but kept fish-tailing… then realised I was heading for the grass bank looming in front of me.

Who carries a traffic cone in their car?? An angel, that’s who.

“This is like a bumper car/dodgem car game, but a bad one!” I thought, struggling to believe I was going to impact.

But impact I did.

The car flipped, rolled right over and half again, crossing the road, and ended facing in the wrong direction.

I remember being upside down, feeling like I was in a tumble dryer.

“I just have to wait till this stops, then see what I have to deal with,” I surrendered.

The terrible screeching of metal on road stopped, and in the sudden silence, I waited for extreme pain to start, or blood to rush down my face…

Nothing.

“Right, I’m going to get out of the car then.”

I unclipped my seatbelt, which was pinning me in the air (the car had stopped on its side, passenger door down), and dropped into a crouch position. No windows were smashed, but neither door would budge. I had a moment of panic, feeling claustrophobia arise, then heard myself say “It’s OK gg, it’s OK, we’re going to get out, we’re going to get out.”

I remembered a YouTube clip I’d seen of someone smashing a window with the metal rods of the headrest to escape a car sinking in water; I registered I didn’t need that, although I could see fluid leaking across the road from the engine, and steam rising. I reminded myself that cars exploding into fireballs on impact is mainly a stunt for the movies, but that getting out was definitely a good idea.

My hands flailed around to unlock a door or something, and suddenly the electric window wound down- I stuck my head out, noticed there was not too much debris where I would land, and jumped out over the roof barefoot like a ninja!

The first person to stop was an angel called Jason, who held both my hands, looked deep into my battered soul, and said:

“It’s OK, you’re safe, I’m here, I’ve got you, let’s go sit in my car.“

I stared into his kind brown eyes, and in that moment, never felt so grateful for another human being in my life.

‘I want to sit on the ground, I want to be on the earth,’ I insisted, so the good fellow sat me in the blessed wet welcoming grass of the verge.

Again, the best grass I ever saw.

Second car to stop held two guys who had a traffic control cone in their van, so they began directing traffic and called the ambulance.

In the ambulance; sharing this pic to remind us to slow down, in cars and in Life

Third car was a nurse on her way to work, so she stood behind me and held my neck still like a neck brace for 10 minutes till the ambulance arrived with the real plastic one.

Then off I sped to hospital for a CT scan, terrified and in shock, yet managing to call work to say I wasn’t coming, plus my girlfriend to tell her what had happened, and to please call my son.

In 37 years of driving, I have NEVER had an accident. Not a prang in the supermarket carpark, or a slight ding when reversing near trees, or even many ‘near misses’. I loved driving; remember I used to have that gorgeous black Mini Cooper? A delight to drive. But I’d sensibly swapped it for an AWD Subaru when I moved out to the rainforest, and I’d put new tyres on it a couple of months ago…

So I was majorly shocked. Still am. Driving makes me anxious, and exhausts me for now.

But you know what? I’m ALIVE. We have a health care system which means I was taken care of, and of course friends and loved ones rallied round to offer emotional and practical support.

I am SO GRATEFUL. I came home with concussion, and whiplash, which can be a long journey of healing…

But I am HERE. I can eat, hug, laugh, see my son, and enjoy experiences with friends, like Xmas and New Year, albeit slowly and gently, with lots of naps.

SO SO GRATEFUL.

And so lucky. I feel like my dear departed Dad definitely saved me- even the doctor said he couldn’t believe I wasn’t more badly-injured/dead.

SO SO GRATEFUL.

So Happy New Year everyone. 2020 was a car crash for all of us, as well as illuminating where massive changes need to be made, and while I slowly recover, I am sitting in my vulnerability and willingness to learn lessons and make changes…

This blog could be a good place for that?

Stay safe please; drive carefully; take deep breaths as often as you can, and practice gratitude for the roof over your head and the loved ones you share it with.

Seriously, Life is a precious gift we completely underestimate.

Blessings, G xO

53 Comments

  1. Marts says

    Sorry to hear about this accident but it’s so good to know that you are okay, I’ve endured a concussion and that’s not easy at all… Do take care for the new year and is good to hear from you again… Only the best to you…

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  2. gigglingfattie says

    I remember seeing this on Instagram and I am so happy that you were safe, and now are recovering well! Xoxo

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  7. curioussteph says

    Oh my, G! What a challenge this must have been. I am so glad you are making in through and are well on your way to recovery. May it go as well as it possibly can from here on out.

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    • bone&silver says

      Yes, a huge challenge. I am a terrible patient even with a cold, so being concussed with a throbbing head was not easy 🤕 Thank goodness for cranio sacral work & physio ✅✅

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      • curioussteph says

        glad you are on the mend. I found my last concussion (#3, about 5 yrs ago) both difficult and liberating in the sense that the headaches that arrived when I overdid were intense enough to be “non-negotiable”. I had to stop whatever it was and go lie down. Got me to let go of some workaholic tendencies. Don’t recommend the method, but it is effective. Be well!

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        • bone&silver says

          Yes, I’ve noticed I get a bit ‘overwhelmed’ if there’s too much going on, esp a long drive, & I literally have to lie down & rest my head. It is kinda non-negotiable! I’m glad I haven’t had bad headaches, that would be hard. Cranio Sacral therapy certainly feels like a big help. Be well too 😊🙏🏼

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  9. Widdershins says

    I too, am literally glad you’re still alive! 😀 … and don’t think I didn’t see you sneak the word ‘girlfriend’ in there!!! 😀
    … those close calls with our mortality can be quite illuminating though, can’t they?
    You probably won’t be the driver you were before the accident, but you will find your way forward with it. I still sometimes feel a frisson of, not quite fear but certainly a body memory, when passing a semi-trailer, and the accident happened in 1983.

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks Widds, I so appreciate your comment & sentiment 🙏🏼

      There is definitely a lot of energy still trapped in my body- lucky I am in the perfect place for various healing sessions- and yes, the new girlfriend has been a bloody legend (kind, organized, practical, sweet), including lending me her car for a week so I wasn’t trapped out in the forest.

      I do miss loving driving though… this slow, anxious, careful pace is kinda boring 😘
      Thanks for your support 🌈

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  10. acflory says

    Dear god…I am so glad you came through that awful crash with so little damage. Concussion and whiplash are both nasty outcomes but positively benign in comparison to what could have happened.

    I don’t believe in the supernatural, but I do kind of believe in Fate. If you’ve never had an accident before then, statistically, you were well overdue. Fate sent you a bad one, but softened the blow.

    I know you’ve always venerated life, but perhaps you’ve never really thought about your own mortality. Now you’ve been given a chance to make every last nano second count. My cancer scare did that for me, and in a strange way, it’s made my life so much better. I slip up sometimes, but I do try to make every day count.

    Live long and make your dreams come true. -hugs-

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    • bone&silver says

      Thank you so much for your wise & kind words 🙏🏼🙏🏼

      I was so lucky with my crash: missed the embankment drop, missed the trees, missed the metal barrier, missed any other cars… Fate was certainly kind to me.

      My own mortality now seems a bit too close for comfort; every car I pass on a wet corner seems dangerous to me, & I’m painfully aware of my fragile grip on life. I do hope that eases. Plus the neck ache. But I am oh so happy to still be here 🙏🏼🙏🏼

      Hug so warmly received, thank you 😊

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      • acflory says

        I’m glad you got back on the ‘bike’ despite the fear. It will fade, but it’ll leave you more cautious, perhaps a little too much. Then again, better too cautious than not enough.

        Hope the neck is only temporary and stops hurting soon. Stay well. 🙂

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  11. Midlife Dating Adventures says

    I’m so sorry to read this G. I can’t understand what actually happened. Any idea? And why ‘didn’t you brake? Did I miss something in your account? Regardless, I’m so glad you’re OK. I know all too well what the opposite feels like.

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks so much Ann- definitely getting a little better every day 🙏🏼
      And may 2021 bring better things for all of us, especially the USA & its marginalized 🙏🏼

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  15. Forestwood says

    An awful start to the year, but it sounds like it was unavoidable and such a blessing there were no other cars to collide with. It would be quite traumatizing and the after effects might last for a while. I had an accident just like this one of yours, in an 4 WD Nissan many years ago. Slid on loose gravel out in the dessert between Marble Bar and Port Hedland. Flipped end to end three time and then sideways ending up upside down. The roll bar snapped on the first roll! But we survived too. Thank goodness for the angels who stop to help. Thank goodness you are okay without serious injury.

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    • bone&silver says

      OMG that sounds way worse than mine!! How do you ever drive again after that??

      And yes, bless those random angels who stop and help- so kind 🙏🏼🙏🏼

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  16. valeriedavies says

    Thank you for your good wishes for my injury. I definitely know how it feels to skid on loose gravel, and turn upside down after hitting a grass bank. I did it forty five years ago – was badly hurt, and to this day feel edgy if another driver takes me too fast on a gravel road… living away in the forest as I do, this is still a challenge.
    Hope your injuries heal fast, and you can put the hurt behind you whlle enjoying the gratitude..
    Aren’t people wonderful when you need them…..

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    • bone&silver says

      45 years ago and still anxious, oh my goodness. Yes, I know that feeling. People are indeed amazing, especially all the healers I am lucky to be surrounded by too 🙏🏼

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  17. candidkay says

    I am so glad you are OK! And I am amazed at the sequencing–first, Jason, who sounds like an absolute angel. Then, traffic cone guys. Then, a NURSE! Wow–the universe was looking out for you. Sending a hug (a gentle one) through the ether to you . . .

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    • bone&silver says

      It was indeed the most perfectly-orchestrated car accident: I also missed multiple trees, an embankment, other cars, & walked away without a scratch (apart from bruising on my wrist where they took blood) So so blessed. Hug happily softly received, thank you 🙏🏼 ❤️

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  20. weird weekends says

    I felt weird “liking” this post… but I do “like” the fact that you are ok. I remember driving post my first big accident and having that horrible dread feeling every time I sat in the car behind the wheel. (you forget it soon enough) SO HAPPY you are OK!!! and please take the time to let yourself heal! I think it would be a good new years goal to become someone’s Jason! (It now has become one of my goals). So last questions… is the car totaled? and did they write “M. Bah” on your pillow? (not sure why that fascinates me)

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    • bone&silver says

      I am healing slowly thank you 🙏🏼. Yes, car totaled 😩
      No, hadn’t updated the insurance 😩😩😩
      ‘M’bah’ is for Murwillumbah which is the hospital they took me to.
      Jason was amazing indeed: a fine goal to become 🙏🏼🙏🏼
      Thank you for caring & commenting 🙏🏼😊 G

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  21. nichtisobel says

    Oh my goodness, I haven’t been visiting my blogs all that much so I am only just learning about this. I am so so so so so so so glad you are ok. How scary…. and you made it through. I’m just about to catch up with your follow-up post, but let me just leave here how precious you are to me, even though we don’t have a 24/7 presence in each others lives…. so glad you are ok! ❤ Nicht…

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    • bone&silver says

      Oh thank you so much darlin 🙏🏼
      Yes, it would have been so weird to die, & all my blogger friends would possibly have never known what happened… 🙏🏼
      I so appreciate your appreciation of me 😌
      Blessings, G 🙏🏼

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  22. janieleeds says

    God bless you G! I am so grateful for the angels who came to your side when you needed them! Each and every one had a special role to play in helping you with their talents (and even the cone)! I am so sorry I didn’t know about your accident. I am glad you’re back to writing and healing. Sending huge hugs to you xoxo

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks darlin- it certainly felt to me like guardian angels made it the ‘best possible’ accident 🙂 I am healing, every day my neck feels a little better, and my inner light seems to be coming back too thank goodness- that’s what I missed the most. Aren’t we amazing creatures: our ability to recover from traumas like car crashes or divorces? ❤ Hugs received thank you Janie xx

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      • janieleeds says

        Happy you’re healing and on the mend G! Your inner light grows brighter as you heal…it never went out you know, just dimmed a bit. This is great news and I love your outlook! xo

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