Author: bone&silver

Happy Birthday Dad, & I still miss you

It’s my Dad Lawrence’s birthday today– he would have been 83. We lost him suddenly 10 years ago this year. I miss him so much, & yet he’s still around somehow, which is awesome. I’m deeply grateful for the life I’m living now, which is his legacy to me & his gorgeous grandson, who’s soon to turn 18, OMG! I’m going to stay home quietly on retreat today, & oil his antique French furniture, the yearly ritual. Tonight, all across the world, his loved ones will be eating Indian food, his fav cuisine. With love & thanks for all the ongoing support you give me on my journey through this life, in good times & bad, or sad, like today, G xO  (Photo is of his last live birthday in 2008)

“Imperfect paradise”- a random re-blog

Originally posted on TheFeatheredSleep:
Today baby, everyone is pert and beautiful Photoshopped at perfect angle Swollen lips, weak jaw, 2000 friends with guitars Can’t keep up, even if I were two and twenty Better my generation-X lost our film Before developing Didn’t keep a record, of that mistake, or this bad day We pretend and forget, imprecision a comfort blanket Not wanting to keep in touch, why force natural closure with technology? We lost your digits and never knew your surname A blurry mystery of poor memories Was it that candlelit poet’s bar now closed? No proof, no evidence, if a tree falls, does anyone know, if it’s not on Instagram? I liked your home dyed hair, we shared night under looming sky in damp sleeping bag You fucked my ideals of love when you slept with her Sent me on my way with a trash bag of belongings A dead squirrel slothing skin, lay ackwardly beneath your window Its stink remaining when I was gone Rumor had it you used her hose as contraceptive…

When you go on a big adventure with your hairdresser

Me to Hairdresser: It’s time for a change. I did a survey on my blog, and these are the results: Option A- 12 votes Option B- 8 votes Option C- 12 votes Keep it like it is (not really an option people, but thanks for playing anyway)- 4 votes Hairdresser to me: Who are these people??  Right. I’m glad you’ve done your research. Let me see the pics… OK… and here’s some more on my phone… dazzled by too many choices now? All part of my master plan. So just trust me, and I’ll sort it out. Me *taking a deep breath: Let’s go! I hadn’t had it cut for at least 8 weeks, so there was lots of length to play with. She cut it a bit, then applied bleach… Hairdresser: Have you had a full scalp bleach before? Me *gulping: No. Her: Well, it tingles… And first we have to strip the silver, then do another round of toner, so it’s a process… Me: OMG what have I done????? Her: Trust me! Toner goes on …

New chapter means new hairdo, yes?

Proudly, my hair is salt ‘n’ pepper. Probably more salt now actually. And I love it. After many years of keeping it short, a couple of years ago, I grew it into a slightly messy bob, and discovered that silver hair often has a bit of a wave or curl to it… But as I launch myself into a new phase of online dating, I’ve decided it’s time for a new look. Now YOU, my dear readers, have followed me through so much: celebrated the one year anniversary, mourned and commiserated through the break up, cheered me as I came out the other side, and positively encouraged me to move forward into the next life chapter. So it’s entirely fitting you help me with this bit too! I asked ’17’ what sort of chop I should get, but this was his brutal honest response: “Mum, I’ve got better things to do than look at pictures of old ladies’ hair cuts.” Fair enough. But YOU, dear reader, surely you can give me a minute? Do you …

Me Monday: Why I’m writing on my forehead with a texta

I’m freshly-single again, at 51. My heart is certainly bruised, yet my spirit remains cheery, and ever-curious. I haven’t come out of a long marriage (I can’t imagine how hard that would be to untangle yourself from), but after a suitable period of mourning my last relationship change- I’m not writing ‘loss’ or ‘failure’ because I don’t believe that’s what’s happened-, I’m popping my head up above the damp heartbreak trenches, and wondering who’s out there? But emotionally, I’m definitely not fully available. I don’t think it’s too soon- I have been processing hard HERE, but there’s only one way to find out… So, as I carefully word new dating profiles, avoiding the site I met ‘H’ on, I am stating clearly that I only want fun, casual dates for now, thanks. And certainly non-monogamous: this woman needs a little bit of adventure. I did have a moment of deep sadnesss, realizing I was back on the dating roundabout once more… until I got a few interesting messages from various potentials, reminding me I was good …

The flood anniversary, one year on

  This exact time last year, here was my morning view from the front verandah at 7am. My son’s room below the house was underwater up to my thighs. His friend’s motorbike was almost floating, and my neighbour’s cars had water up to their steering wheels. It was a challenging, stressful time, as you can imagine, including several deaths, and I wrote about it here with many more photos in Soggy not Bloggy. It took 3 days for the waters to subside, and miraculously, we only lost electricity for a few hours. Which was great, because I had two teenage boys marooned in the living room with me; we would have likely killed each other without the internet for distraction. Or the toaster of course, for ongoing food requirements (I had waded to the supermarket with water over the top of my gumboots to bring back milk and bread). Today, the nearby town of Lismore- which was devastated by over 11 metres of water literally rushing thorough the CBD– is having a community gathering and …

Teenage Tuesday: “Managing your finite power, with Top Ten Tips for self care”

Over 40? Noticing you have less energy than you used to? After almost 6 years of detailed observation and study, here are this Mum’s Top Ten Tips for returning to the boundless power of your youth: If you open a drawer or cupboard door, don’t close it; imagine how much effort you’re saving. If you can’t find something, DO NOT search for it; call out loudly for its whereabouts, and miraculously someone else will know exactly where it is. When you take the lid off the toothpaste, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE replace it. Minimize all cleaning/tidying/sorting activities as soon as possible- it’s best to urgently install a house keeper and butler to ease those daily needs (see #1, #2, & #3 above). Maintain an intense focus for hours on surfing clips, music videos, and occasional computer games, but REFRAIN from studying too much, it’s bad for your eyes. Practice the ability to party all night in 4 separate locations, then sleep half the day [*see Footnote 1 below]. Maintain an unrealistic view of all financial activities …

Who’s carrying that light at the end of this tunnel? Seems like it’s Me

‘How are you going after the break up, G?’ I’ve had that question asked many times, both in real life, and in my beloved WordPress World, so here’s the answer. After spending over a month mourning in a hard nest lined with blankets of sadness, crying, not really eating, cancelling outside plans, and wearing a mask for the times I had to go to work, I’m now coming out again into the sunshine. I can see a fun future, a deep future, a new future. This is good, and welcome. While this romance was in no way a long one- we shared only 18 months, and no children, homes, or other family binds- it still hurt like Hell; I’m so glad I could reach out for support and care. My Top Three tips for surviving a break up are now these: Feel your feelings– cry, wail, grind your teeth with the unfairness of it, scrawl your loss in a journal, bawl at the missing of your beloved, and just surrender to the pain. Seek comfort– …

Teenage Tuesday: Ssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

’17’ has been at his Dad’s a lot lately, so I’ve had minimal fodder for our fabulous [still temporarily banned] Teenage Tuesdays… but negotiations are ongoing… all fingers are still crossed… this blog needs a cheery boost… and he’s coming back here tomorrow, so I’m feeling hopeful! Stay tuned… love Mama G xO And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, cos you’re new round here, or you missed it, you gotta read THIS still temporarily banned post : )