All posts filed under: personal

In celebration in Australia: I passed 2 young girls leaving the beach…

… Perhaps they were sisters, cousins, or just neighbourhood friends? Both blonde, only 6 or 7, dripping wet from the warm summer sea, wrapped in large striped towels, with matching bangles and pink toe nail polish. They walked side by side, earnestly discussing the merits of using the cold water outdoor shower to wash sand off their feet, so I moved over to let them pass on the narrow track. They barely acknowledged me; too full of the adventure of a sunset swim, and being big enough to go to the beach by themselves. I wondered what I looked like to them? ‘Old’ for sure, with my silver hair. Perhaps trustworthy? People often say I have a kind face and eyes. I watched them giggle and gaggle off the sandy path, then turned up my music, so it blasted through my headphones. For just before 6pm on Thursday 7th December, the Australian Parliament finally passed our marriage equality laws, and I had to dance. Not for me; I’ve never wanted to get married, to man …

relationships, online dating, raising a teenager, over 50, positive ageing

Last weekend I was hit by a bird. Wallis Bird.

Live music rocks I live in a small country town in regional Australia, with a huge number of artists and creative folk in its make up. Because we’re near Byron Bay, the most Easterly point of the mainland, a mecca for tourists and Australians alike, we have a lot of festivals all year round. I’m talking music festivals, food festivals, arts and crafts, healing and esoteric, dance, yoga, renewable energy, building design, crystals, antiques, comedy, more food, and of course more music . As a performer, I’m lucky enough to often get gigs at some of them, which usually means an ‘Access All Areas’ full pass, plus privileges like parking facilities for costume drop offs, and of course a fee. I’m a blessed and grateful woman. So I’ve seen a lot of music, a lot of performance, a lot of shows. I’ve been doing this work in this area for 20 years this year (although I won’t be getting a pension, nor any large Superannuation payout that’s for sure). I’ve shared backstage space with a …

relationships, online dating, raising a teenager, over 50, positive ageing

Is it a pothole or cliff? Measuring the drama of your argument

Main Attachment styles: Anxious, Avoidant, Secure Most regular readers know I had a Bumpy time with ‘H’ on the last interstate visit, and you were all so supportive and encouraging, many thanks. Long distance relationships can be a challenge indeed. It took a lot of patience not to have an immediate, dramatic reaction myself, and now that we’re all snuggly and cute again [phew!], I’ve been reflecting on how it felt as it happened. As I previously wrote HERE on ‘Bread & butter vs death’, there is a biological reaction to that disagreement with your beloved. Once triggered, your attachment system will flood you with the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. It takes approximately 20 minutes for your body to process and dilute these chemicals to return to normal, (a little longer for men), so going for a walk or taking ‘time out’ is actually a fantastic idea. But what’s actually caused the triggering? In a nutshell, a serious argument is received as a threat to our safety. I’m not talking about the simple ‘bread & butter’ …

Blog tales for the Over 50s with positive ageing, dating & relationships

400 Followers at last, so good. But why?

I made it. I’ve been hovering at around 395 Followers for a couple of months, partly because I delete new suspicious ones. Do you ever? Why would a 30yr old Indian IT guy who’s never engaged with bone&silver suddenly follow me? Or a twenty-something Moroccan personal trainer? I’m not interested in fake. So anyone who follows me gets a curious drive-by, if I’ve never had any Likes or Comments before. [Whaddya mean I’m a control-freak? Shucks, thanks for the compliment]. Anyway, I wanna ask YOU why? Why do you read my posts? Which ones are your favourites? I mainly blog about a few topics: My hilarious & smart teenage son (short n sweet, I love these, especially as I don’t really have to do much) Relationships/Attachment theory/long distance romance updates (one of my best friends says she likes these the least, and just deletes the email. I still love her) GPMs: Generalised Personal Musings (politics/social commentary/introspection) Health/food/dance stuff Creative writing (I’ve not done so many of these lately but am hoping they’re going to return) Travel, …

Can I put on ‘normal’ like a coat?

I slept so badly last night, here in Australia, acutely aware that back in England, my Mum was [hopefully] being assessed by a community health care team (previous post explains HERE). I’m writing this now as I wait to hear outcomes from my cousin ‘C’, who kindly took the day off work to be there as well. I woke up to scroll my Facebook feed, which is full of #MeToo. SO MANY WOMEN. I keep saying ‘Not you too? And you! OMG it’s nearly everyone.’ Then I see the hurricane has hit Ireland, the wildfires blaze on in California, Puerto Ricans are drinking contaminated water, and North Korea has threatened Australia for aligning with America. For fuck’s sake, this is NOT normal. Or rather, this is NOT what I want my ‘normal’ to be. I can feel the anxiety squeezing my head and chest; I have a low-grade churning in my belly that’s been there for days now. And yes, I’m still cooking dinner, feeding the cat, helping with English homework, and making vague plans …

REBLOG: ‘An Open Letter to Victims and Family Members of Future US Mass Shootings’

Originally posted on Life in the Boomer Lane:
Dear Future Victims and Family Members,  I realize that, while I am grieving for the people who died in Las Vegas, as well as for those who loved them, I must also reserve room for all of you who will have been the victims and loved ones of victims of mass shootings to come. After all, we have a pretty strong track record of this kind of thing. We average one mass killing per day in the US. The same day that the massacre in Las Vegas occurred, three people were shot and killed at the University of Kansas. Another two were injured. It’s a given that you, the future victims and family of victims of mass shootings, will someday, sooner or later, be impacted.  It’s also a given that, when that occurs, people will grieve. They will grieve for you, or you will greive for others. CNN may or may not cover the particular mass shooting that has affected you, as it will depend on the…

Passing through the Pillars of Doubt, as they whisper

Writers & readers Obviously, we’re all writers here. And readers. Some of us are new bloggers, others have multiple thousands of Followers, free e-book downloads available, and perhaps speaking engagements on the Writers Festival circuit. I’d love all those things, I’ll admit it. In fact, I want them. I do. I’d enjoy them, I’m fairly sure I’d be good at them, plus I love to travel and meet new people. So why am I not there yet? I’m 51; I’m leaving it all a bit late huh? Well here come 3 clear reasons… What keeps us from the success we want? Now regular readers of this blog know I’m a theatre performer and dancer. Not as in ‘Look-at-me-up-on-stage-doing-pirouettes’, but as in ‘I have to go worship on the dance floor to the goddesses and gods of Life, Love, Passion, and Release, using my sweat, tears, heart, body, mind and soul’– just your average free ‘n’ wild 5Rhythms dance class attitude. Last weekend I did an Intensive: Friday eve, Sat 1-7, Sun 11-5. Lotsa dancing. I can’t …

“Roses are red/Violets are blue/Online romance update:/I’m so glad that I met you”

Dearest H- I know you love these ‘Cinnamon Sweetie’ buns, dontcha? If I’d met you at a party somewhere, I’d have seen that you too wore a thin but effective layer of protection, like a brown paper bag. I’d have noticed it was fragile, yet also strong. I’d have wondered what hid inside. But now I know. Or rather, I’ve begun to discover. And thus we continue to unravel each other, past the thin edges, sometimes a bit burnt, or a little brittle. Circling round, through the spices and sugar, with the odd grain of salt. Spiralling closer, moving deeper in. Slowly but surely, just like a Snail likes. 1 more sleep; see you at the airport xx [The story so far: Met online. Emailed and sent comics & stories back and forth for 3 months Texted, but no phone calls (although we did send various selfies) Met outside Flinders St train station in Melbourne, Dec 21 Have been flying to see each other approx once a month ever since, for 5-6 days The longest gap …