All posts filed under: love

A year has passed since I nearly died; this makes me both happy & sad

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Today, 12 months ago, I rolled my car right over on a wet road, and wrote about it here. Somehow, I came away with only concussion, whiplash, and a frozen shoulder (which is now thankfully almost fully ‘thawed’). The ambulance workers couldn’t believe I wasn’t more badly injured; neither could the 2 doctors on duty, and the smash repairs guy who towed away my car looked at me incredulously: “There’s not a straight panel on it! How are you not dead?” Obviously, I’m so glad I’m not dead. As are my son, my beloved, and my family and friends. It absolutely rocked my world, for in 37 years of driving, I’d never even had a car park prang. It shocked me to feel so vulnerable in my concussion and whiplash, then had to accept my shoulder was in fact ‘freezing’ in April [they are often triggered by a traumatic event, and occur more often in women over 50 FYI]. The shoulder was agony– if I knocked it, it felt like I’d been hit by lightning, …

It’s official: Buddhism teaches that your buddies are your blessing

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Hello Everyone, from the lush rainforest in Australia, where once a month I sit in a circle of women studying meditation and Buddhism. This month was the last meeting for the year, and our wise crone leader Yoda Carol chose to reflect on friendship for her talk, or ‘Admirable Camaraderie’ as Buddha called it. She’s lived in the same intentional community hidden in the hills for nearly 50 years, having been one of the founding members. She’s travelled the world, facilitating conflict resolution for all kinds of humans, from big corporations down to divorcing families… so her wisdoms come from plenty of lived experience as well as her decades of Buddhist meditation and study. She asked us a simple question, which I’m going to ask you: “Do you always call, or are you always being called?” Buddha talked of cultivating friendships, to offer and receive full kinship, as one of the most effective paths to Loving Kindness. So when did you last reach out to someone, in these strange times of lockdowns, travel restrictions, and …

In celebration in Australia: I passed 2 young girls leaving the beach…

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… Perhaps they were sisters, cousins, or just neighbourhood friends? Both blonde, only 6 or 7, dripping wet from the warm summer sea, wrapped in large striped towels, with matching bangles and pink toe nail polish. They walked side by side, earnestly discussing the merits of using the cold water outdoor shower to wash sand off their feet, so I moved over to let them pass on the narrow track. They barely acknowledged me; too full of the adventure of a sunset swim, and being big enough to go to the beach by themselves. I wondered what I looked like to them? ‘Old’ for sure, with my silver hair. Perhaps trustworthy? People often say I have a kind face and eyes. I watched them giggle and gaggle off the sandy path, then turned up my music, so it blasted through my headphones. For just before 6pm on Thursday 7th December, the Australian Parliament finally passed our marriage equality laws, and I had to dance. Not for me; I’ve never wanted to get married, to man …

relationships, online dating, raising a teenager, over 50, positive ageing

Australia has woken up covered in rainbows and glitter

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We did it! We got the YES vote for marriage equality, after a $122 million dollar waste-of-time- plebiscite which caused incredible distress to many members of the gay community, especially young folk (calls to helplines quadrupled). 61% Yes, 38% No. Personally, I’d like it to be 99% Yes, but all that really matters now is that it becomes law. And Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has tweeted that he will make it so by Christmas. That literally makes me cry typing that; so many Queer couples I’ve never even met will be able to fulfil their romantic dream, AND be equal in the eyes of the law. My Facebook feed is full of smiling faces surrounded by rainbows, with tears of relief and excitement flooding down. I join them gladly; it’s an honour. I felt so emotional all day yesterday, unexpectedly so. If I’d have lived in one of the capital cities, I’d have been out dancing to all those classic old favourite disco songs with the rest of my wonderful gay community! (Melbourne and Sydney …

relationships, online dating, raising a teenager, over 50, positive ageing

Is it a pothole or cliff? Measuring the drama of your argument

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Main Attachment styles: Anxious, Avoidant, Secure Most regular readers know I had a Bumpy time with ‘H’ on the last interstate visit, and you were all so supportive and encouraging, many thanks. Long distance relationships can be a challenge indeed. It took a lot of patience not to have an immediate, dramatic reaction myself, and now that we’re all snuggly and cute again [phew!], I’ve been reflecting on how it felt as it happened. As I previously wrote HERE on ‘Bread & butter vs death’, there is a biological reaction to that disagreement with your beloved. Once triggered, your attachment system will flood you with the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. It takes approximately 20 minutes for your body to process and dilute these chemicals to return to normal, (a little longer for men), so going for a walk or taking ‘time out’ is actually a fantastic idea. But what’s actually caused the triggering? In a nutshell, a serious argument is received as a threat to our safety. I’m not talking about the simple ‘bread & butter’ …

relationships, online dating, raising a teenager, over 50, positive ageing

Bumpy

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I haven’t updated about my online dating romance in a while, as things have just been cruising along: month off/week on/daily texts/phone calls & Skype chats 3 times a week or so, all cute n cosy. Till ‘H’s latest visit this weekend. Hmmm, is ‘bumpy’ the right word? No one’s fault really; just two slightly stressed human beings, bringing their fears, their wounds, and their frailty to the fore. You all know I’ve got quite a lot going on: Mum over in the UK who’s health is in decline and in a bit of a crisis right now, plus general exhaustion at the shitty state of the world. ‘H’ packed a small suitcase for this trip with some of the stress of building a new house on a tight budget, and various other creative/financial challenges at home in Melbourne. We tried to set our 4-day table with care and kindness, but right from the airport pick up, we somehow disconnected. Oh dear. Add in a delayed flight, driving home in the dark, missing dinner etc, plus …

“Roses are red/Violets are blue/Online romance update:/I’m so glad that I met you”

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Dearest H- I know you love these ‘Cinnamon Sweetie’ buns, dontcha? If I’d met you at a party somewhere, I’d have seen that you too wore a thin but effective layer of protection, like a brown paper bag. I’d have noticed it was fragile, yet also strong. I’d have wondered what hid inside. But now I know. Or rather, I’ve begun to discover. And thus we continue to unravel each other, past the thin edges, sometimes a bit burnt, or a little brittle. Circling round, through the spices and sugar, with the odd grain of salt. Spiralling closer, moving deeper in. Slowly but surely, just like a Snail likes. 1 more sleep; see you at the airport xx [The story so far: Met online. Emailed and sent comics & stories back and forth for 3 months Texted, but no phone calls (although we did send various selfies) Met outside Flinders St train station in Melbourne, Dec 21 Have been flying to see each other approx once a month ever since, for 5-6 days The longest gap …

The ‘rainbow bar’ comes from an Australian engineer; here’s a screenshot

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In this crazy time of hurricanes, floods, and earthquakes, I just want to celebrate a little human caring. This is for all you fabulous Americans/Canadians/UKs/Kiwis etc etc who (after my previous post HERE) commented “I wish I had one of those!”: I’d sent that post in to ‘Discover’ on WordPress, not to get ‘Discovered’, but just to try and let WordPress know how impressed I was. I fast got this email back from the Editorial Team: “Hello GG, Thanks so much for sharing your kind words about the rainbow bar with us. One of our Australian engineers conceived this idea and put it together to be able to show WordPress.com and Automattic’s support for marriage equality. I posted your note and I know he’ll appreciate your support. As a Canadian, (where we’ve had marriage equality since 2005) I wholeheartedly hope Australia votes YES. Let love win! All the best…” And I’ve only had 2 negative comments, which I trashed, and removed as Followers of my blog. Love and let Love indeed ❤  

When a rainbow appeared in my blue WordPress sky…

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It was a few days ago; did you get one? I suddenly registered that there was a rainbow band across the top of my blog, on every page, incl the Stats and Reader. It’s not on my actual blog site, but firmly everywhere else. I couldn’t see it on other blogs though, so last night I Googled it: ‘Why rainbow on WordPress blog?’ Google offered me 2 other people who’d asked the same question of WordPress, both of whom were cranky, saying ‘get this rainbow off my site!’ Here’s the WordPress reply: Australia will be holding a national survey on marriage equality over the next two months. To show our support for marriage equality, we’re showing the rainbow bar to all our Australian visitors. You can read more about the marriage equality campaign here: http://www.equalitycampaign.org.au/ We cannot remove this banner for individual sites. We understand it looks a bit different to what you’re used to, but it’s here for everyone. We absolutely respect your right to publish the content you choose to your site, but the …