It was pretty clearly stated on my dating profile: “I travel for various gigs, often to Brisbane or the Gold Coast, so don’t let geography keep you away from me- no further than that though sorry.”
But still I clicked on a message in early October last year which read: “I guess H* is too far away then? 🙂 Great profile”
I smiled. Cheeky. Replied: “It’s probably not a good sign that I’ve never heard of it. Sorry. Best of luck on here :)”
And that should have been that, shouldn’t it?
Except a week later I was bored, and there had been no new messages from anyone anywhere, so I clicked on that visitor profile, wishing I knew where the hell H* actually was… and found myself smiling as I read it, admiring the unique layout & phrases they’d used. Interesting, and a bit quirky. Plus the pics: all cute (although only 3/10 were smiling). Almost as cute as one of mine:
I checked Google maps on my phone… Oh, H* really is that far away…
Still, can’t hurt to just send a friendly “How’s your week been/any luck on here?” message can it? Which of course SPECIFICALLY goes against my previously well-established protocols of online dating, as outlined in previous post HERE.
Now have you ever played that drama game called ‘Yes Lets’? Let me explain: in a nutshell, one person makes a suggestion, however mundane or absurd they like, and all the other players enthusiastically say ‘Yes Lets’, and everyone starts doing it. Then the next person offers a new, contrasting idea, and the same refrain rings out. It’s really fun, positive, and morale-building, and I didn’t think it was possible to play it online, but it seems like it can be done after all.
Because before I knew it, or rather, in an easy evolution, daily emails just became the norm. Checking in about how our days had gone, and what plans we each had for the weekend, with which specific friends. Plus long stories about childhoods, or past romances, or numerous answers to an interesting questionnaire I found in the New York Times HERE.
Online dating is easy and fun. It can become flirtatious, meaningful, frustrating, superficial, confusing, revelatory, and mind-blowing. It can also hurt. Never forget that there is a real, soft-fleshed human on the receiving end of your typing, and that you too can feel stung by words thrown your way. Just as I’d advise in real life, DON’T TYPE TIRED OR HUNGRY (in fact, don’t do ANYTHING tired or hungry if possible). If you think you’re being toyed with, or perhaps misunderstanding/being misuderstood, don’t reply; just draft something, sleep on it, then re-read the original email before Sending…
Yup, there were several hiccups in this story, which could have ended at Week One (if I hadn’t been bored and clicked on that profile again), or in Week 3, when I was misunderstood as bragging about my other dating activities, or most terribly, in Week 13, when two soft hearts clashed and turned away for a day, thinking that was the right answer.
But more of that later, as I continue… See you here next week x