personal, Wellbeing
Published on March 21, 2018
Comments 57

Mum update No.1

written by
Showing 81 yr old Mum how to take a selfie

First ever selfie 2017 #Mum #selfie #olddognewtricks #positiveageing

Following up on my last concerned post about Mum HERE, her younger sister ‘W’ emailed me this morning, saying she’d found Mum obviously a bit muddled last Friday, but definitely cheery. They all went out for a pub lunch overlooking the sea (which Mum would have relished), and laughed a lot.

I LOVED hearing this, as you can imagine. ‘W’ confirmed that the twice-daily community care visits help Mum with eating regularly, and social interaction; I also pay for a weekly cleaner, who arrived while they were leaving for lunch, so that’s running smoothly as well.

We’re all doing the best we can aren’t we?

Tomorrow morning I’m Skypeing with my cousin, W’s daughter, who lives 1.5hrs from Mum, with a degree in Social Work, so is a good communicator, plus knows her way round difficult situations, and dealing with various community services: I’m so lucky!

And YOU are all wonderful, with your loving, helpful, positive comments, your sharing of similar situations, and your well wishes and candle-lighting. Thank you so much; I hope my update after my cousin’s report tomorrow is similarly upbeat, or at least not too negative.

It’s really true: a burden shared is a burden halved, and I felt so buoyed by your kind support, and very grateful indeed.

Never underestimate the power of a one-line comment, love G xO

 

57 Comments

  1. Coyote from Orion says

    Glad to hear and good that you feel reassured by it. Have a great day. Thanks for sharing your real life stuff. All kinds of community is important going into this era xx

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  2. S_MW says

    That’s lovely, hopeful news. I had a sudden thought, reading this update and sure that this has been considered, but has you mom had a urine infection? Xx Love to you all G xx

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      You are so onto it: she has had a really bad cold, which definitely makes her feel a bit worse, and a few months ago she had a UTI which made her really bad, so yes, it’s certainly something we need to be aware of- the trick is explaining it to her. Thank you honey xx

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  5. Stephen Moylan says

    The last thing you are through all this is alone. Iā€™m so happy you have got some good news from over there, and that your Mum is enjoying some seriously enviable beach side meals.

    Big love to her, you, and everyone around the pair of you.

    X

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thank you Stephen, and welcome to my blog comments world : ) Nice to have you join us, and I’m glad you could share my good news, and I totally appreciate your support, as ever : ) x

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  6. gigglingfattie says

    Totally awesome report, G! I’m glad things are going well and you are staying positive! šŸ’›šŸ’›

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. lorietalkslife says

    Hey good news your Mum could enjoy an outing! It was good to hear the update. Good or bad it’s good that you are sharing the journey. You don’t know who you may help along the way. On another note; how many hours are you ahead of the US East Coast? Sleep well or have a great day depending on your time zone. Lorie :0)

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks Lorie; yes, the support and care from this blogging community has been fantastic, and I am sure we are all helping each other in ways we don’t even understand.

      It’s 1pm now as I respond to you- does that help re Timezone? I’m ready for lunch : ) G

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  11. lifecameos says

    I have just remembered that for us the crunch point came when Mum and Dad could no longer keep themselves safe. Mum developed Alzheimer’s syndrome and kept trying to cook dinner with nothing in the saucepans on hot elements, going out to look for Dad when he nipped down the road to the supermarket, and putting the plug in the hand basin then leaving the hot tap running. Later Dad could not remember that his partner had gone along to the local shops for half an hour and wandered down a very busy road looking for her, got quite lost but eventually found his way back home.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      That sounds awful, and yes, I’m dreading that decline with Mum. She has stopped using the stove top herself, but can still manage the microwave, and the twice-daily carers help her with meal stuff. It must have been so hard to watch them decline together, but at least they had each other hey? Mum has lived alone for a long time, and is often lonely, hence the appeal (for me) of a group home situation… but she will have none of it.

      Thank you for sharing your story and experience, G xO

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      • lifecameos says

        Mum died eleven years before Dad, and did not always know him in the last several years of her life because of her Alzheimers condition. Dad from 89 to 91 had vascular dementia and had lucid spells when he knew what was happening. That was not good at all

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          • lifecameos says

            You just move through it. Both our parents expected us to live our lives in the post WW II world as they had lived theirs in the pre WW II world, and this continued through our adult lives. We all had to do our tertiary education and came out as people out parents could not relate to. We had to live, work, and bring up children in the world as it was evolving, which they deeply resented. So we were not close. But we still had to take responsibility for them in their last years.

            Liked by 1 person

          • bone&silver says

            Yes we do indeed- I’ve not been really close with Mum for much of my adult life either- this new dynamic is very interesting. Thank you again for your comments ā¤

            Liked by 1 person

  12. spicejac says

    I lost my parents 20 and 15 years ago respectively, and I still remember how hard it was. My thoughts are with you, it’s hard when you’re separated by the tyranny of distance too. I struggled with that…best wishes

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thank you Spicejac- tyranny of distance indeed : ( I lost Dad 10 years ago this year- growing older really sucks sometimes hey? I appreciate your comment and empathy x

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      • spicejac says

        Hardest part for me was losing my parents when I still was so young….I still envy folk who are my age now and have their parents with them.It’s something I still struggle with…..the I wish they were alive….to have met my partner, my son, my great nieces and nephews…

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  14. Jad says

    You’re so lucky that there are some family close by that can help you out with all this I know how difficult it is for you to be so far away from yoir mum.

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. Ann Coleman says

    So glad things are still working with your mother! One of the nicest things about the blogging community is the support it offers as we deal with the challenges life always throws our way. I sincerely hope you mom is able to stay in her home for the rest of her life, but if not, we’ll be here to support you through that as well.

    Liked by 1 person

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  18. ForgivingConnects says

    So much love and Light, Gabrielle!! To you, to your mum, your family and all your mum’s caregivers. You are definitely supported. ā¤ Take care of yourself, and a hug across the pond!! Blessings, Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

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  19. L. Rorschach says

    Hey G, by any chance is your user name ‘wacentral7980’? Someone has been asking for access to my now-private site and I don’t want to approve it unless I know it’s someone I know. šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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  20. Jean Cross says

    Glad to hear that you have on the ground support for your mum. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but same goes for looking after the elderly, I think. Care should be a communal endeavour. It’s better for everyone involved. It can’t always be ideal, of course, and nothing makes it easy but every effort to centre her and her need is a positive one. That’ll go somewhere good in the end. Sending you and her positive thoughts from Ireland.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thank you Jean- yes, I think it’s great so many people know her and keep an eye on her, including the police- it takes a village indeed. Your positive thoughts are very well appreciated, thank you x

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