All posts tagged: empty nest

I’m crap at transitions, & ’empty nest’ is a big one (Part Two)

So as you saw in Part One, I have a new dream of moving onto a community in the rainforest, 20 minutes from my current cute Australian town. But I was struggling with anxiety. ‘What’s underneath it all?’ the therapist asked me. ‘You sound informed, supported, capable, ready- what’s going on? What are you scared of?’ I sat, twisting the sodden tissue, cursing my sensitive stomach while I dug down through the layers… And came face to face with a desperate fear of failure. It just seemed too good to be true, and I couldn’t accept it. I couldn’t believe that after a year of fruitless searching for a rural property, & listening to my growing yearning for a tree change + a sense of community, it had actually fallen into my lap via word of mouth, perfect timing, and feasible financial gymnastics. I couldn’t delight in it. I had to worry about the details, and foresee as many problems as possible. It almost felt like my duty to do so, even though it didn’t …

I’m crap at transitions, & ’empty nest’ is a big one (Part One)

Most of you round here know I’m 53, & that my darling son ’19’ moved out a few months ago. Thank goodness he hasn’t gone far: 10 minutes up the road to his cousin’s place. When I was 19, I emigrated to Australia, where I still am, and didn’t see my Mum for years… no mobiles, no internet, barely even a phone… I just used to write her once a month. Or so. If I felt like it. But anyway, now I’m here, at a similar point, and as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, am thinking about moving out of the suburbs onto an ‘intentional community’ in the forest. I’ve been looking at real estate on and off for a year, knowing that the ’empty nest’ was coming; I grieved it when it actually happened, and of course found things to celebrate about it too- no need to cook dinner or keep the fridge fully stocked/minimal washing loads/peace and quiet/no car shuffling in the driveway/a tidy house and clean bathroom- the list goes …

Should I move from the suburbs to a forest community? I need advice

I live in a small country town near the seaside in Australia, and am essentially a small-town girl. I love cities, and have spent years living in both Sydney and Adelaide, but I do love the friendly simplicity of cycling round a limited number of streets and shops, seeing familiar faces. I’ve been lucky enough to own my current home since 2005, so my share is now way bigger than the bank’s- hurray! I live left of the town centre, down a quiet yet popular street, within a 7-minute drive to the beach. And since ’19’ flew the nest, I’ve been house-hunting. Yes, I’m just one more statistic: downsizing now that I’m at home alone. Until three months ago, I’d been looking at properties almost every week. Then I suddenly realised I felt like I was trying waaaaay too hard, for no result. So I stopped. I took a deep breath, sanded and oiled the front stairs, did a gardening blitz, then chilled out. I’m very blessed: my elevated home faces a small mountain, so …

‘What are YOU going to do Mum?’

My son ’17’ and I just sat down to the yummiest vegetarian nachos I’ve ever made (why was it so good?? I did the same as always) About halfway through the meal, we were talking about his plans for 2019, once he’s finished school at the end of this year (fingers crossed), when suddenly he asked me what I was going to do? *gulp I’ve no idea. Since he was five, and first started at that earnest Steiner kindergarten with the massive tree in the playground, and the cute soft toys with no faces, I’ve been making lunches and healthy snacks, washing uniforms, and cajoling homework demands… Thirteen years of school-based predictability and rhythm; everything dictated by the calendar of classroom timetables and holidays. Now the future stretches before me, and while I smile at the prospect of freedom, I’m also swamped with sadness at the end of such comfortable routines, and a mild growing panic at the arrival of the huge unknown. Why, I could do anything couldn’t I? Anything. Like, move to Sydney or Melbourne, …