I turned 49 last month. I feel like 25 on the inside, but I don’t look it.
I have silver hair, crow’s feet and forehead wrinkles, a double chin, the beginning of a saggy neck, cellulite, varicose veins, and a wide variety of moles/skin tags/blemishes.
Yet I have strong legs from running and walking on the beach listening to the Arctic Monkeys, from swing dancing every week, and doing 5Rhythms too. I have a great arse for the same reasons (plus Pilates). I have clear blue eyes, great smile, delicate ears, fine fingers, nice toes. My hair has an interesting curl when it’s wet.
I am kind, generous, cheeky as hell, playful, honest, and creative. I can also be grumpy (especially when tired), a bit of a stress head about details like punctuation and punctuality, and stubbornly like my own way most of the time. I’m also a bitch when I’m hungry, or conversely, when I’ve eaten too much sugar.
The point of this post is that we ALL have it ALL: the good body bits/’not-so-good’ bits. The good qualities/bad qualities. The great parenting moments, and the awful fails. The loving experiences, and the lonely, rejected ones. We don’t need to airbrush, photoshop, or deny our multiple realities and subjectivities.
In this current culture of ‘selfies’, youth, beauty, plastic surgery, and ‘perfect lives’, I just wanted to say DON’T TELL ME HOW TO LOOK OR BEHAVE, I’M NOT INTERESTED.
I DON’T CARE.
I care about the environment and climate change, refugees, creating community, and mental health. I care about gender equality, literacy rates, and access to contraception for all.
Sometimes, I feel myself worrying about my age, or my looks (see list above), or my [apparently] waning sexual currency. And I took this birthday pic to remind myself that I can CHOOSE not to worry about all the things Capitalism wants me to worry about, and I can continue to put my precious energy and time on this planet into moving forward with grace, compassion, and Love.
To appreciate my dear friends and family; to minimize my Western footprint; hug often; make love; cry/laugh/share/honour feelings as they arise; sleep well; eat well; breathe well.
Until I breathe my last. And may that breath be witnessed by my most beloveds, wishing me well, just as they shared my birthday ‘Festival of G’ celebrations.
Thankyou all for the love you sent my way. Send the love forward, on and on, as wide as it needs to go: to the short-sighted politicians, the racists and homophobes, the scared/sad/angry/disempowered folk.
May we all be loved, and dance, and love ourselves, flaws and fabulousness combined xx