I haven’t updated about my online dating romance in a while, as things have just been cruising along: month off/week on/daily texts/phone calls & Skype chats 3 times a week or so, all cute n cosy.
Till ‘H’s latest visit this weekend. Hmmm, is ‘bumpy’ the right word? No one’s fault really; just two slightly stressed human beings, bringing their fears, their wounds, and their frailty to the fore.
You all know I’ve got quite a lot going on: Mum over in the UK who’s health is in decline and in a bit of a crisis right now, plus general exhaustion at the shitty state of the world. ‘H’ packed a small suitcase for this trip with some of the stress of building a new house on a tight budget, and various other creative/financial challenges at home in Melbourne.
We tried to set our 4-day table with care and kindness, but right from the airport pick up, we somehow disconnected. Oh dear. Add in a delayed flight, driving home in the dark, missing dinner etc, plus me needing to get up at 7am to work all day the next day, and you’ve got yourself a ticket for a roller coaster ride- admit two for the price of one.
When I had a tiny grumble to my two dearest work colleagues the first day, both in longterm relationships, they each smiled and said ‘Ah, true love hey?’
To which I had to grin and nod (with slightly clenched teeth I admit).
Maybe it is. Maybe to stop and turn around when you want to turn and walk away is love?
Maybe to offer a cup of tea when you want to say ‘Just go home then’ is love?
Maybe to listen when you actually want to speak is love?
Maybe to open and share when you want to curl up and withdraw is love?
Maybe to cry and show your tears is love?
The path of true love is not smooth, as we all know. And the bumps feel fucked! Yet on the other side is a new softness, a new understanding, and new possibilities.
That feels like Love to me.
[PS: I’m linking this with Debbie over at ForgivingConnects because she runs #ForgivingFridays and I really had to dig deep to do just that <3]