personal
Published on October 27, 2017
Comments 105

400 Followers at last, so good. But why?

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Blog tales for the Over 50s with positive ageing, dating & relationships

I made it. I’ve been hovering at around 395 Followers for a couple of months, partly because I delete new suspicious ones. Do you ever? Why would a 30yr old Indian IT guy who’s never engaged with bone&silver suddenly follow me? Or a twenty-something Moroccan personal trainer? I’m not interested in fake. So anyone who follows me gets a curious drive-by, if I’ve never had any Likes or Comments before. [Whaddya mean I’m a control-freak? Shucks, thanks for the compliment].

Screen Shot 2017-10-27 at 6.45.12 am

bone&silver #marriageequality, #WordPress, #followers

Anyway, I wanna ask YOU why? Why do you read my posts? Which ones are your favourites? I mainly blog about a few topics:

  1. My hilarious & smart teenage son (short n sweet, I love these, especially as I don’t really have to do much)
  2. Relationships/Attachment theory/long distance romance updates (one of my best friends says she likes these the least, and just deletes the email. I still love her)
  3. GPMs: Generalised Personal Musings (politics/social commentary/introspection)
  4. Health/food/dance stuff
  5. Creative writing (I’ve not done so many of these lately but am hoping they’re going to return)
  6. Travel, specifically France
  7. The whole combination

Thank you for your input in advance. And for your pretty stars of Like, plus all the incredible comments so generously offered; I can’t believe how wonderful you all are!

With love from Australia, gabrielle xx

 

105 Comments

  1. Jad says

    My favorites topics are 1, 2 and 3.. Sorry to admit I kind of zone out a little on the dance stuff but mostly because it has no interest for me.
    I enjoy personal stories about what is going on in your life, the mountain marathon (walkathon) and your Mum etc
    Hooley dooley 400 is a shit ton of followers!!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  2. sex line stories says

    I get what your saying. I have followers who have never even liked never mind commented….maybe I should have a cull.
    Anyways I do enjoy your stuff about your son. Makes me laugh

    Liked by 2 people

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  3. Rachel McAlpine says

    Dear Gabrielle, I’m sure you have examined the 30-year-old IT guy from India and found some reason to exclude him. But I know and like many young Indian IT people, having met them through my work, and I know their interest in me is genuine. A few personal trainers follow me too, because of my occasional posts about fitness for older people. So perhaps there is more to this guy than meets the eye. The people I block are those obviously using their blog for sales, especially if they push me towards a URL. It’s tricky, isn’t it? Meantime, big congratulations on having 400 genuine fans — count me in!

    Liked by 2 people

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  4. Maggie Wilson says

    This is my cue!
    I just followed you today because I “liked” your comments on another blog and thought, hm, I think I’ll see what she’s about – and then I read “why silver?” Well, I relate to that on several levels – I live in a former silver mining town so there’s that. Then, we are, ahem, of similar vintage.( I’m a decade or so older) so there’s that. Plus I met my current husband (three times a charm, right?) on a dating site.

    As to this post: congrats on 400. I think I signed on at 399 – so am I 400?

    I’ll read just about anything you might wish to write about except for fiction – nothing personal, and I can’t explain it since I’m a huge fan of fiction writing, but I come to WordPress for the real deal, not creative writing.

    Liked by 2 people

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks Maggie, I’m so glad you joined and commented 🙂 Perfect timing hey? I think you were part of the flurry that took me over 400, but then I checked out a couple and had to remove them. Welcome! I feel like I should have a T-shirt for you or something… I hope you enjoy the journey here, and rest assured, it’s usually 100% real, : ) gabrielle

      Liked by 2 people

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  5. Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas says

    I take my hat off to you…I’ve been doing this nearly two years and haven’t even got 200 followers! No idea what to do to improve that. I don’t follow loads of blogs and I only join in with one linky. I enjoy the effort I do put in but really can’t spend any more of my time staring at my phone lol! So I’ll probs spend the next two years getting to 400 lol! I’m really enjoying writing my poems at the moment and getting good feedback, so maybe I’ll just keep going. Well done 😊xx

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks Dramas! I’m pretty chuffed, but I do follow quite a few other blogs, plus comment as much as I can- this is definitely my part time job (about 20hrs a week I reckon). I also worked out that because I’m in Australia, it’s better if I post at 5am, to get seen in the Readers of just regular American folk- that could make a difference for you? And I am DILIGENT about answering comments; if I comment a few times on someone’s blog, and they ignore me/don’t engage, I walk away/unfollow- just as I would a real life ‘friend’ who wouldn’t speak to me. Thank you for your time and effort, I appreciate it, cheers gabrielle xO

      Liked by 1 person

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      • Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas says

        You’re right about that…if bloggers don’t take a few seconds to at least ‘like’ my comment, after all I took the time to write it, I eventually unfollow them. I reply to EVERY comment I get – it’s rude not to. Some bloggers think that other people exist just to support them and never give anything to anyone else. That loses my interest VERY quickly!!

        Liked by 1 person

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  6. Marts says

    Hi Gabrielle, the updates about your son are really fun and your general musings, thanks for sharing always and congrats on your 400. BTW, I guess on social media there’ll always be the really unusual followers but you do the right thing, just ignore or delete… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  8. Catherine says

    Hi Gabrielle!
    I love reading a mixed bag. In all honesty, I’ll read anything except health. I have an unhealthy condition called hypochondria and it isn’t good. It is the cause of much of my anxiety so I need to take a step back from any health posts.
    But, I like to be entertained and I love a good read. I dig France and have been there many many times so I love reading about how others see the country.
    Well done you on 400 followers. The numbers will only increase!!!! XOXOXO!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. curioussteph says

    I’m a relatively new follower, somewhere in the late 300’s, I imagine. So I can’t say I’ve read a lot of your posts. I’ve enjoyed the variety thus far.

    As far as deleting suspicious followers, it hasn’t been much of an issue for newbie me–I’m creeping up on 50 followers. That said, I did get a couple of comments that didn’t make much sense, and when I tracked them back, they had the stench of spam so I didn’t approve them. Others, I leave. They can read or not as they see fit. I never know why someone might want to read my stuff. Some I suspect to be English language learners and they are just checking stuff out.

    Liked by 2 people

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    • bone&silver says

      Hi Steph, yes, you are a more recent follower, and thank you for commenting; yes, I do the same thing re weird/dumb/suspicious comments (I love the pre-approval feature).

      That’s a good point about language learners, I didn’t think about that… oops…

      Like

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  10. TJ Fox says

    I call them spam followers and I’ve deleted a few here and there when it is obvious they are strictly a spam site. I only follow and read blogs that post things that are interesting to me, whether it is really my thing or not. Some because I can see common ground, some because they make me think, some to challenge what I already think. The funny thing is that I may follow a blog because I found a couple of posts that draw me in for one reason only to find something later that I like for a completely different reason than I followed in the first place. Blogging can be fun like that.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks for explaining that TJ, and yes, on reflection, that’s kinda what happens to me too, as I wander round WordPress getting hooked in by others’ writings. Thank you for reading & commenting : )

      Liked by 1 person

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  12. Unleashing the Cougar says

    Hi G. I am a new follower too and I like reading about all of those topics. Probably the most personal for me are the ones about your son, and also those about relationships. I have yet to read your whole blog! That is on my list. As a new blogger myself I have only found a couple of suspicious follows and they were really obvious – trying to get me or someone else to clock on a link and clearly with no interest in my subject matter (middle-life sexuality and the online dating journey as a woman who happens to have a penchant for younger men – aka cougar!) I look forward to reading more of yours! I also like the fact that we are both Aussie women with a fair bit in common 😉

    Liked by 2 people

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  14. Matt Berger says

    Your posts are familiar experiences viewed through a different lens. I just turned 51, but I have never been an Australian woman. When I was in high school, it was just my mother and I (my just-divorced father died when I was 15), so the teen son posts resonate. I had a not-quite-successful long-distance relationship, so the “H” posts speak. And so forth. I should be jealous (only 19 followers in 10 months, though my blog is a bit, umm, esoteric), but instead I congratulate you on this milestone. Keep writing.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thank you for explaining that Kathy- I absolutely am real on here, and that’s one reason I chose the name bone&silver, so that I could speak bone-true tales… I really appreciate your readership & comment, G

      Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks Neil- I loved that post too, and another one happened recently with my fridge, but I haven’t written it down yet… But I will, so I hope you read it.

      I really like your blog name by the way : )

      Liked by 1 person

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  18. Dewy says

    I like to read 😊 I don’t screen my followers I just let them be. As for people who I follow I cull once in awhile if nothing to read or material not engaging.

    Liked by 1 person

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  19. Hayley says

    My prime motivation doesn’t tick any of your boxes, fellow fire horse. I’m old fashioned, avoid social media and the only blog I follow is yours – because quite simply Ms G: we never manage to see each other, rarely chat but I care about you (and teenage son) and what’s happening on this sometimes bumpy, sometimes divine wild old ride. Thanks for updates that tell me the what’s happening, as well as what it means to you xx

    Liked by 1 person

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  20. cathytea says

    I found you because you liked a guest post that some friends and I wrote on The Queerness… And I followed you because… I am 58. I’ve just moved through what was probably the most challenging, and certainly the most transformative, seven years of my life, and I am fascinated by other women, especially those who are quirky, unique, strong, talented, sensitive, observant, rebellious, curious, inquisitive, and insightful, who reflect on their lives and experiences as they move through their own personal epoch of transformation and power.

    Liked by 2 people

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  21. The Lockwood Echo says

    Can’t remember how I stumbled onto Bone & Silver, but the first thing I read was about the puppet and it moved me so much. And I may have just sent your stats sky high trying to find it again, alas to no avail. It’s the heart you put into your writing and the slightly leftfield use of words. My other favourite piece was your walk up the ‘mountain’. Beautifully told story. As for followers, I’m taking any I can get! My set-up is not really a blog as such so accept that may limit my audience, but I only follow those that have moved me/spoken to me/made me proper laugh in some way. I’m lucky enough to have visited your part of the world and I have also just turned 51. (That’s the first time I’ve ever said that out loud in any shape or form. Holy crap, how did that happen?!). So, maybe there was a subconscious connection! To quote some of Cathytea above, it’s the honesty, the quirkiness, the observation and insights. Keep it coming! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

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  22. lifecameos says

    I enjoy your actual writing about all these topics, your writing makes interesting reading. I do not cul those who follow me, as I am not sure of these exact reasons for following me. But I am selective about whom I follow. I have culled a few of them over recent months – repetitive, taking a turn in attitude that does not attract me to read them, no longer interest me…etc

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thank you for commenting, and for being so accepting of my writing style over various subjects, that’s lovely to know. And yes, I don’t follow everyone that follows me, only if I like their words; life is too short to waste on poor words hey? G

      Liked by 1 person

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  23. Magenta says

    I just downright like you, G! I like what you’re about, the life experiences you share & the things I learn/get inspired to ask myself. Call me a general fangirl 😁 And wow I feel special to have made the cut out – engaging with 400 others is huge!! It makes me wonder about culling my followers as I definitely have a handful of 🤔 ones! I wish I had more time to spend on blogging & interacting!

    Liked by 1 person

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  24. Donna Cameron says

    I think it’s probably all of the above, with the fiction as the one I’m more likely to skip if I am in a hurry. I like your voice—it seems down-to-earth and honest, and also wise, open, and vulnerable. Most of the blogs I especially like—yours definitely included—tend to be by bloggers I think I would enjoy chatting with over a cup of tea or coffee.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks Donna- I’m coming to realize that that is EXACTLY how I’m feeling about this whole blogging business. In real life, I LOVE getting down into the nitty gritty topics, one on one (clearly I have Introvert tendencies)… and I will try to remember to warn you if I’m doing a fiction post ; ) xO

      Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thank you for commenting- they’re unusual beasts aren’t they, these teenage boys? Always our babies, yet also new men, heading out into the big world 🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

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  28. crowdedmind says

    I love your style, your language is honest, that’s why I hit the follow, but your son posts resonate. I also hate the like for like thing and agree re the IT guy from Indian lol. He must be lonely. Anyway congrats. 400 whop whop.

    Liked by 2 people

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  29. dtills says

    I am new here, but would like to cast my votes for 1, 2, 4 & 6. I am not super political so those topics really never get my attention. But I have a funny 21 year old son, (and a 23 year old daughter) so I can really relate to those!
    Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  30. gigglingfattie says

    Oooo man – I’m afraid to look at my follow list and get rid of anyone who I thought was fake! I have such a high number right now (mid-600’s) and I know a really large part of that are people I could take off, but I like the number. Maybe one day I will be strong enough to purge it just like you.

    I read because I like how real you are. I like personal blogs – getting to see into another person’s life (nosey I know!) And getting to interact with someone on a real level. Sharing the good and the bad times. I like that personal connection. Keep up the good blogging!

    ❤ T

    Liked by 1 person

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  31. lorietalkslife says

    Hello! Just a quick note. I followed you because of your quick style and bluntness. I’m so new to blogging I wanted to find out what other blogged about. We are a world apart geographically but next door neighbors via a blog.☺

    Liked by 1 person

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  33. Liberty on the Lighter Side - (LoLS) says

    Congratulations! That’s a phenomenal achievement. I enjoy 1 and 3 but also I followed you for the shallow reasons that I liked your blog name, your handwritten image and your profile pic, and I think you followed me first? Although maybe on a ‘deeper level’ those are all important too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Thanks LoL.S, for the comment, your follow, & your reasoning 😊 I like them all, & I’m glad to have you along for the journey 😎🌈🌴G

      Like

      Reply
  34. Michelle Cole says

    7 — You write well and lead a fascinating life. I also appreciate your supportive comments on my posts. They appear at just the right time (when I’ve written about something that troubles me).

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Aw that’s lovely to hear Michelle, thank you for commenting. I do try & be supportive of all my creative sista women out there 💪🏼💃🏻❤ G

      Like

      Reply
  35. gigglingfattie says

    Hey G! Ever since I read this, I was wondering just how many of my own followers are fake pages and I was thinking of doing an experiment to find out. Can you share your strategy for removing followers? Obviously, if it’s a blog that has new posts being put up all the time that’s one thing, but like what if it looks like a real blog name but the person has just deleted the blog? What if it’s a blog that is current and running but it’s like a sports fact blog which never interacts with yours? I know that’s a lot to answer haha but you can email me if you want? noloveforfatties@gmail.com

    ❤ T

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • bone&silver says

      Hey T- thanks for asking- every time I get a new Follow, I pop over to see their blog, esp if they haven’t made any comments previously. Yesterday I deleted 2: a teenage boy who’s done 4 posts last week about his weight lifting, & a weird blog that had no posts or images or anything. I just go up to Followers & remove them- it’s very satisfying! I’m here for authentic connection, not ‘numbers’.
      Also, if I comment several times on a blog I’m following & get no replies, even when I’ve done a good, engaged comment, I stop following them. I’ve done that a few times. I try to treat this WordPress like real life: would I stay friends with someone who ignored me every time I spoke, or want to have strange people I have never connected with who don’t even like my writing follow me around? I hope that helps!? Let me know- you may lose 10 or even 20 followers, who knows? But surely that doesn’t matter- isn’t it about Quality not Quantity? 🙏🏼❤🌈🌈

      Liked by 2 people

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      • gigglingfattie says

        Thanks for the tips! I think I will look into doing it over th weekend, because you are right, it is about the connection and not the numbers. I always make sure to reply to comments – even if I don’t follow that blogger personally. It’s just being polite. But it could be the Canadian in me that does it haha! I think I’ll be dropping much more than 20! We shall see 😉 Thanks again for all the advice G!

        Liked by 1 person

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          • gigglingfattie says

            Oh I most definitely will! I always take a silent day over Remembrance Day but maybe on Sunday I will get to it 😉

            Liked by 1 person

          • gigglingfattie says

            Ok so I tried to do this today haha. I started with 661 followers, and after about an hour and a half I am down to 497 but not even close to being done. I was going through it one blog page at a time (omg sooo much effort!) and deleting the obvious ones. But then WP started acting up. If I delete one, it resets the page to like 50 blogs up on the list which I have already gone through. And it always resets to the same place. I had to stop haha

            Liked by 1 person

          • bone&silver says

            Wow that’s a bit of a big loss of numbers isn’t it? But I also felt relieved that I was getting rid of ‘bullshit’, but that’s just my take on it all. Interesting that WordPress started playing up… I’m glad you stopped. I didn’t do it one at a time- I guess it’s easier for me cos I’m doing it as I go- to be honest, if the gravatar or profile pic is of a woman, I probably won’t investigate it, as that’s definitely where I’m pitching the blog…

            Liked by 1 person

          • gigglingfattie says

            Yeah I started juat skipping over certain blogs. Like anything called “football stats” or the like got immediately ditched. Im glad I stopped too haha. And it would have been so much easier if I was doing it all along. Although now I feel bad if I deleted people who actually read my blog but I just dont know haha. Maybe I’ll do some more thinning out tomorrow hehe

            Liked by 1 person

  36. RhapsodyBoheme says

    Hey there, I remember a conversation we had in the beginning, when I was thinking about letting my gray hair grow out to become a silver fox. We shared many of the same ideals and opinions about it and I immediately felt connected to you. The silver has been growing since and I love my silver highlights. What i used to cover up for whatever reason it was, I love to highlight and display now as I await more silver strands to arrive.
    I do love the interaction with your son, your wording and everything about it, but that goes pretty much for anything you write about. The subject is secondary to me, as long as the words are sincere, real and come from the heart. You have mastered it all and I’m grateful you haven’t hacked me and that our paths have crossed.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • bone&silver says

      Lol, I’m so relieved you’re still here : )
      It’s pretty obvious when ‘followers’ are just spammers, or looking for ‘numbers’; like you, I value the heartfelt connection, and that is similarly what I enjoy about your blog Rhapsody. And I love that you are loving your silver wisdom strands : ) ❤ G

      Liked by 1 person

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  37. D-Claire says

    Ha ha i don’t think I’ve blocked any of the ‘fake’ followers. I have unfollowed a few blogs for reasons such as – every photo is uncredited (photographer unknown? How can that be?) AND seems to be of a scantily-clad-woman, ugh! I don’t see all your posts but i like what i do read 🙂

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