‘How are you going after the break up, G?’ I’ve had that question asked many times, both in real life, and in my beloved WordPress World, so here’s the answer.
After spending over a month mourning in a hard nest lined with blankets of sadness, crying, not really eating, cancelling outside plans, and wearing a mask for the times I had to go to work, I’m now coming out again into the sunshine.
I can see a fun future, a deep future, a new future. This is good, and welcome.
While this romance was in no way a long one- we shared only 18 months, and no children, homes, or other family binds- it still hurt like Hell; I’m so glad I could reach out for support and care.
My Top Three tips for surviving a break up are now these:
- Feel your feelings– cry, wail, grind your teeth with the unfairness of it, scrawl your loss in a journal, bawl at the missing of your beloved, and just surrender to the pain.
- Seek comfort– therapy or counselling, caring massages, scented baths, understanding friends, nurturing food, beach walks, fun movies.
- Let Time pass and do its thing– ignoring your distress, and rushing into a new relationship, or other busy distractions, will ultimately delay your thorough healing.
On a practical level, I also put away all the artworks/trinkets/cards/photos etc, smudged the house and car, danced my way through several ‘Letting go’ soundtracks, and posted final significant items back to the owner. That definitely helped.
So now I feel kinda empty, but in a good way. A clear way. A way that says ‘I have suffered, and lost, but I truly believe it’s for the greater good, plus my greater happiness.’
And I couldn’t believe it when I pulled this card!
I’ve just gone back to the ‘One Year Anniversary reveal’ post and removed our photos; that made me feel sad again, but I want to complete this episode with as much honour as possible, and respect for privacy. So be it.
My son ’17’ has returned from his Dad’s- “It just felt like you needed to be alone and sad for a while Mum”- so I’m back [happily] wondering about what to cook for dinner, and when is he ever going to wipe up? I can’t believe how lucky I am that I can claim the emotional space to process big events like a break up, and that I’m not surrounded by 3 other kids and a full time job… blessed indeed.
Wishing you all a wonderful Easter break, spending time with your loved ones, and hopefully out in Nature, appreciating our wonderful world.
In gratitude for a tender, healing heart, and the blogging community who are helping me get there, love G xO