I’m freshly-single again, at 51. My heart is certainly bruised, yet my spirit remains cheery, and ever-curious. I haven’t come out of a long marriage (I can’t imagine how hard that would be to untangle yourself from), but after a suitable period of mourning my last relationship change- I’m not writing ‘loss’ or ‘failure’ because I don’t believe that’s what’s happened-, I’m popping my head up above the damp heartbreak trenches, and wondering who’s out there?
But emotionally, I’m definitely not fully available. I don’t think it’s too soon- I have been processing hard HERE, but there’s only one way to find out…
So, as I carefully word new dating profiles, avoiding the site I met ‘H’ on, I am stating clearly that I only want fun, casual dates for now, thanks. And certainly non-monogamous: this woman needs a little bit of adventure.
I did have a moment of deep sadnesss, realizing I was back on the dating roundabout once more… until I got a few interesting messages from various potentials, reminding me I was good at this game, and that there is much fun to be had…
If the Universe wants me to be back in circulation, then so be it- who am I to deny my fate?
And as I’ve written before, I think online dating is a wonderfully liberating activity, especially if you’re over 50, and needing to explore your conditioning around sex, needs, communication, and love.
Thus I’m clambering back on the horse, or dipping my toes back into the water, whichever metaphor works best for you. But I do need to write that phrase about ‘casual fun only’ on my forehead in texta, to clearly inform my dates, but also to remind myself every time I look in the mirror.
Unless you have a better suggestion or technique?
In gratitude for the world wide web, and all the dating opportunity it offers, G xO