Obviously, we’re all writers here. And readers. Some of us are new bloggers, others have multiple thousands of Followers, free e-book downloads available, and perhaps speaking engagements on the Writers Festival circuit.
I’d love all those things, I’ll admit it. In fact, I want them. I do. I’d enjoy them, I’m fairly sure I’d be good at them, plus I love to travel and meet new people.
So why am I not there yet? I’m 51; I’m leaving it all a bit late huh?
Well here come 3 clear reasons…
Now regular readers of this blog know I’m a theatre performer and dancer. Not as in ‘Look-at-me-up-on-stage-doing-pirouettes’, but as in ‘I have to go worship on the dance floor to the goddesses and gods of Life, Love, Passion, and Release, using my sweat, tears, heart, body, mind and soul’- just your average free ‘n’ wild 5Rhythms dance class attitude.
Last weekend I did an Intensive: Friday eve, Sat 1-7, Sun 11-5. Lotsa dancing. I can’t believe sometimes that I find the energy and enthusiasm, but I do. It’s my regular spiritual practise, and I’ve written about it before HERE (which includes a kick-arse poem NOT by me) and HERE (which includes a video of me dancing in France) if you’re interested. Please be interested.
This one was called the Power of Intention, by Adam Barley from the UK. And in the last couple of hours of the last day, we did this, under his guidance:
“Make a group of 3. One of you is the traveller; the other two will be the Gateposts, or pillars that must be passed through, from the life you are living now, to the one you Wish for. This is not just a Wish for you, but also for your loved ones, and for the world.
Give your Gate Keepers 2 or 3 sentences which sabotage you/hold you back. They will whisper them over and over as you go through the Gates, so you can leave them behind, and let go their power over you…”
Well that’s not too confronting now is it? Vocalising my negative inner dialogue to 2 complete strangers, then having it looped over and over as I move slowly between them.
But you know what’s more confronting? Writing them down on my blog so everyone can see them:
- You’re too lazy
- You’re not special enough
- There are too many other people doing it already, and better than you
I’m hoping I don’t spontaneously combust from writing that! Or melt into a muddy puddle of defeat and shame. But with all the terrible shit going on in the world right now, I figure I can shine a light into the shadows of my mind, and no one will really notice except me.
I also made a collage on the Monday, as per Adam’s instructions, and have been trying to look at it every day. It’s symbolic rather than literal, but a powerful reminder of my embodied experience of the intensive (with that card I pulled becoming the centrepiece):
What do your Pillars of Doubt whisper? No pressure to write it down, but heed them for yourself, and imagine moving beyond them…
With love and compassion, xO