Comments 23

Day Six, & my favourite day of the Eco Village Intensive

Trees will save the world #gratitude #nature #wellbeing #over50
Trees will save the world #gratitude #nature #wellbeing #over50

Buttress roots holding the earth like fingers #permaculture #ecovillage #Australia #nature #organic #wellbeing #over50blogger @boneAndsilver

Let’s imagine 200 of you bone&silver Blog readers want to live with me in a community (and why wouldn’t you). How would we make that work? And more importantly, what would we do when it wasn’t working?

Carol Perry is co-founder of Dharmanada Community, established for over 40 years- they have dinner together 5 nights a week, and grow 70-80% of their own food, including running a dairy and making their own butter and cheese! She is a dispute mediator and mindful communication teacher, plus cute and fun to listen to. She ended up travelling Australia doing Conflict Resolution presentations and mediations, right up to the corporate world. So she knows her stuff; she could help us out.

What happens when we get triggered? We’ve learnt about arguing before here on bone&silver haven’t we?

We lose all our intentions for harmonious, cooperative living, and just want to be Right.

She started her presentation by saying the most wonderful thing:

“My first Invitation to you all is that all the parts of you are Welcome, and I have all the room in the world for all your parts.”

Trees will save the world #gratitude #nature #wellbeing #over50

Buttress roots holding the earth like fingers #permaculture #ecovillage #Australia #nature #organic #wellbeing #over50blogger @boneAndsilver

Then she turned away, and let that sink over us in silence for several minutes.

I was shocked to find myself nearly crying, and many others felt the same. Then she gathered us into our bodies with a few awareness exercises, including breathing of course [Seems like there’s gonna be an awful lot of breathing on this community].

“Living in Community is a big Cauldron of Life and Challenge- you’re actually choosing to tune in and really FEEL your life. There’s no Right or Wrong; it’s just Being.”

She talked about childhood patterns of conflict, and a strategy for really dealing with very uncomfortable issues as an adult:

  • Feel the feeling
  • Identify it
  • Work out the Need behind it
  • VALIDATE that Need to yourself (a very important step- ‘I’m allowed to have this Need’)
  • Request to have the Need met
Trees will save the world #gratitude #nature #wellbeing #over50

Buttress roots holding the earth like fingers #permaculture #ecovillage #Australia #nature #organic #wellbeing #over50blogger @boneAndsilver

Easy peasy right? Well, if you’re NOT finding it easy, that’s because you may have been sucked into The Power Game Triangle… where different parts of our triggered selves react to the other person’s: The Persecutor, The ‘Victim’, or The Rescuer. We’re not staying centred and empowered, from which to take compassionate, generous actions.

I really felt taken care of by Carol, and that she had a great grasp of the fundamental skills needed to live within a tribe, and function well. We practised various exercises, and we all agreed that if there was trouble, we were gonna call her, rather than the Ghostbusters.

After lunch, our main facilitator Shane explained that our deep Values as a community can help glue us together- Dharmanada has a Buddhist philosophy for example. He explained the 8 identified healthy ways we can connect with ‘spirit’ or a higher power, or God/Buddha/Allah/Ganesh for example:

  1. Meditation
  2. Yoga/Martial arts
  3. Dance, esp Ecstatic or 5Rhythms
  4. Song/Music/Chanting
  5. Nature
  6. Creativity/Art
  7. Prayer
  8. Reading/Study

I’d never really thought about it so clearly- we split into the practice we most aligned ourselves with, and then thought about ways we could increase that in our ideal Community- I easily built an amazing dance studio with sprung wooden floor, glass windows overlooking Nature, and the latest surround-sound system. Come join me anytime.

Trees will save the world #gratitude #nature #wellbeing #over50

Buttress roots holding the earth like fingers #permaculture #ecovillage #Australia #nature #organic #wellbeing #over50blogger @boneAndsilver

We finished the day with the incredible John Seed again, of Deep Ecology – “… an ecological and environmental philosophy promoting the inherent worth of living beings regardless of their instrumental utility to human needs”- Wikipedia 2018

You can do this yourself: look out at a green view of trees, then spend 5 minutes breathing out the carbon dioxide they need, and breathing in the oxygen they provide which we need.

“Breathe out Carbon Dioxide, breathe in Oxygen.

Breathe out Generosity, breathe in Gratitude.”



  1. That sounds like a lot of positive support. What a great thing–self-acceptance is so crucial. I have a bunch of friends and clients who have DID/old-fashioned multiple personalities and/or severe ptsd, and I can accept all of them, even the tough babies, and yet I have been finding that radically-accepting me has been hard still somehow, mostly out of disloyalty to those who seem to have contributed to the screwedupness of me–me sort of denying they affected me and also me being stoical (while still having severe life-threatening body stuff like choking episodes and convulsions, partway through unprocessed issues). I feel like I only accepted some giant chunks of me yesterday, and it feels really good. As the very-unusual musician Marilyn Manson says, “Complicated’s understated”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There’s a whole universe of understanding in your comment Donnalee, thank you so much for sharing. Mr Manson is totally onto it indeed. How wonderful that we can share our journeys and support each other from afar : ) Have a peaceful day today, G

      Liked by 1 person

    • Great Donna, I was hoping that would be the case for some of you. One more day to go, when we actually walked on the land (I took loads of pics), and then I need to do some kind of ‘wrapping up’ post… stay tuned : )

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Entirely fabulous experiences you are enjoying; your words almost transport me there with you.
    I’m an avid shinrin yoku forest devotee. So happy am I to think they enjoy me as much as I enjoy them 😊🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I found this particularly powerful and it resonates deeply with me today:

    Feel the feeling
    Identify it
    Work out the Need behind it
    VALIDATE that Need to yourself (a very important step- ‘I’m allowed to have this Need’)
    Request to have the Need met

    Thank you for taking me on this wonderful journey. You’ve pointed me in a direction I need to go in.

    Liked by 1 person

    • John Seed (who said it so clearly) is a pretty amazing human being; he signs off on his emails with “For the Earth”, which is another simple yet profound message…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is beautiful and your words nearly brought me to tears. I could feel all the emotions and it sounds like a wonderful place, allowing you to slow down and get in touch with what truly matters. You said that you felt taken care of and I think it is because you felt comfortable to vulnerable. To lay your weapons down and to take a risk at experiencing something special. This was a safe haven for you and all of you was welcome. No struggle to fit in, no struggle to pretend or be someone else in order to be accepted. I’m glad you got to experience this dear. Hugs xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • You have understood that completely Rhapsody; the facilitator actually said that to bring a true end to conflict, the wounded parties have to lay down their armour, and explore their vulnerability. You are onto it, and I’m glad it moved you. Try the tree-breathing exercise next time you are out in Nature- you’ll love it xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • I surely will and somehow I feel like I’m doing something similar already, just didn’t have a term for it. I might have stumbled onto some things without even knowing. Lucky I guess 😉
        Again, what a wonderful experience xo

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I love this and your sharing of it.
    In an ideal world this would be an amazing place to live and work but I know myself I am not ready to let go of old ways and patterns. I think a person has to be really committed to the ideology to make it work.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s