love, Wellbeing
Published on November 22, 2021
Comments 21

It’s official: Buddhism teaches that your buddies are your blessing

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Hello Everyone, from the lush rainforest in Australia, where once a month I sit in a circle of women studying meditation and Buddhism.

This month was the last meeting for the year, and our wise crone leader Yoda Carol chose to reflect on friendship for her talk, or ‘Admirable Camaraderie’ as Buddha called it.

She’s lived in the same intentional community hidden in the hills for nearly 50 years, having been one of the founding members. She’s travelled the world, facilitating conflict resolution for all kinds of humans, from big corporations down to divorcing families… so her wisdoms come from plenty of lived experience as well as her decades of Buddhist meditation and study.

She asked us a simple question, which I’m going to ask you:

“Do you always call, or are you always being called?”

Buddha talked of cultivating friendships, to offer and receive full kinship, as one of the most effective paths to Loving Kindness.

So when did you last reach out to someone, in these strange times of lockdowns, travel restrictions, and general COVID weirdness?

Who would benefit from a call from you today?

I do often call friends for a chat; my Dad used to do the same. And I’m usually delighted when someone unexpectedly rings me; I can feel my heart glowing for ages afterwards.

Buddha also urged us to ‘celebrate the good.’ To really allow feelings of joy and connection to sink through our bodies, which is how I feel when I open the Zoom link to the monthly meetings.

So let’s experiment: who can you reach out to? How did they react? And how did you feel afterwards? Pay attention to your body and its feedback, then comment below!

Thank YOU for being here, for reading and caring.

In gratitude for meditation, mobiles, & my circle of friends, G xO

21 Comments

  2. brilliantviewpoint says

    This was a nice and tricky message. As we know, some people are always receptive when we reach out. Then there are others, who don’t respond. We don’t know why… maybe they are ill, maybe they don’t appreciate or want our friendship anymore… it’s always hard to determine what to do when someone does not respond. I have found that COVID has put people in strange moods.

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    • bone&silver says

      Yes indeed. Then our teacher Carol suggested we look at what comes up for OURSELVES in receiving those varied responses, & send loving kindness & compassion to the other person anyway… 🙏🏼 G

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      • brilliantviewpoint says

        She’s a wise woman. We always feel best if we focus on kindness even if it’s not what someone else wants or needs. Then move on, because it is all about “trying.” If we don’t try, it could be they are suffering in silence. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. gigglingfattie says

    Ok I have to be honest and say I HATE phone calls lol they give me hella anxiety. But I do reach out via text to my people at least once a day. For a while I did kinda step back from my brother, the whole if you don’t have any thing nice to say thing haha, but now I’m trying to be more vocal with him too. I’m lucky to have a great support group both IRL and online 🙂

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    • bone&silver says

      That’s interesting! To be honest, I assumed you were a phone chatting person, so I won’t call you haha.
      But I do know you’re very active on all your media channels, so I’m glad you cultivate a good community around you 🥰

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    • Writer of Words, etc says

      I dislike the phone too but that’s because I have a partial hearing loss. I also noticed the people who used to enjoy phone calls who have shied away from them now struggle with hearing loss but are in denial about it. This is how involuntarily isolation starts, especially for the elderly.

      With today’s technology there are many ways of reaching out to someone to let them know you’re thinking about them. Some people enjoy talking on the phone but if they don’t, don’t forget they might like other ways of connections in reaching out. Because the feelings to describe don’t just happen with phone calls as I’m sure you know. 🙂

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      • bone&silver says

        Yes! Thank you for reminding us all about small things which make massive differences, like hearing loss or phone dislike. FaceTime is a winner, as is Skype when I connect with my deaf friend who can still lip read me. Just reach out, somehow, and spread the love ❤️

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  4. LA says

    I have a small group of friends where we equally call and receive calls. I have a larger pool of acquaintances that I don’t care as much how often we do or don’t hear from each other

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  6. Midlife Dating Adventures says

    I’m a ‘caller’ but friends do also call me, but I have an internal radar (usually) of how long it’s been and when I need to reach out. I also agree that phone calls aren’t always the best way. I prefer face to face but do the whole range – emails, apps, comments etc!

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    • bone&silver says

      That radar thing is funny isn’t it? So many times I will think of someone, & the next day they call…

      Yes, I imagine you communicate on all channels possible! ❤️

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  7. Bryan Wagner says

    Great post, my friend. For me, relationships are about HOW I want to be in this experience. I am curious and caring so I will call or be someone who maintains contact. Why? At the end of his life Gautama was questioned about what he thought was most important in his Sadhana. He replied watching the breath and Sangha. Sangha for support, but also because when in attention, I can see exactly how I am with others. It’s not about them as much as it is about how I truly respond to others in passing moments.

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    • bone&silver says

      Yes! Thank you so much for this insightful and challenging comment Bryan- I am very good at living solo & following my own desires, but learn much more when I reflect on my behaviors in company. I appreciate this reminder very much, thanks 🙏🏼 G

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