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Then together, we walked peacefully off into the sunset, my kidneys & I

Healthy living is easy where I live in Australia #grateful

I want my kidneys to feel like this every morning #healthy #wellbeing #kidneycleanse #grateful @boneAndsilver

I’m a pretty healthy chick for 52; most of my friends would agree with that. But I’ve just signed up for a 4-week ‘Adrenal Recovery Program’, that includes 2 consultations with a Naturopath, plus 2 sessions with a Kinesiologist, as well as a weekly support group meeting with the 6 other participants.

Why? And this is where most of the fellas may wanna tune out: because the ‘warm/hot flushes’ of the menopause are driving me a little crazy at night, and I’m hoping a kidney/adrenals re-set will help.

If I’ve had the magic  8.5 hours sleep I need, I feel like I can run the world (and let’s face it, I’d do a fabulous job compared to Trump). But waking up hot half a dozen times, throwing covers on and off, then wrestling with annoying pillows just because I’m a bit cranky does NOT make me a good world leader (still better than Trump though of course).

Part of the benefits of this Recovery program is supposedly deep, restful sleep; that is the new Black as far as I’m concerned. 

Celery is good for your endocrine and adrenal system

Luckily I love celery #healthy #wellbeing #kidneycleanse #adrenals @boneAndsilver

The biggest change to my daily life? 500ml of pure celery juice before anything else in the morning. Day 3 of the program, and I only just borrowed my friend’s super-duper juicer this afternoon, so I’ve been chomping on stalks in bed for 30 minutes on previous mornings instead (no wonder I’m still mostly single hey?)

Apparently the specific minerals in celery are the perfect combination to help the body’s endocrine system remain functioning healthily; poor function affects your thyroid/hormones/moods/insulin… the list is huge and slightly scary.

Another recommendation is eating every 2 hours, even if it’s only a handful of berries or banana between meals; I’m delighted to take this on. No refined sugar though (which I generally avoid anyway), but I’m hoping my energy levels will even out so I don’t get the overwhelming urge for a nana nap at around 3pm- perhaps I’ll even blog more often, as I feel like I’m letting things slide a bit around bone&silver lately, with less regular postings.

So we’ll see how I go. Hopefully my detox shock will be minimal, as I don’t drink coffee or alcohol (the big No Nos), and my tired little head will soon sink quietly into my pillow, then stay there still and cool all night long…

Watch this space- am I crazy? Self-indulgent? Have you ever done something like this?

In gratitude for preventative health options & centrifugal juicers, G xO


In my next life, I’m coming back as a sculptor, & here’s why

The little seaside town 10 minutes down the road from me just hosted its 3rd ‘Sculptures by the Sea’ event. It was simply wonderful, and began with sandy shoes scattered in the grass- hands up who hates sand in the house or bed after a walk on the beach? There were dozens of pairs, of all different types of shoes, re-purposed from the local op shops.

The Spring weather was glorious, and it was lovely to just stroll around the parks and break wall, marvelling at the local creativity and talent. I was in such a relaxed daze though that I barely registered any artists’ names, so can’t give credit where it’s due; my apologies.

That big old kangaroo had a good story though: a social worker told the artist she advised angry young boys in her care to take up a kangaroo stance, and send their fury down their tails into the ground behind them (an Indigenous strategy).

My favourite aspect was the emphasis on recycled and found materials being re-purposed; the weaving with discarded nets or fishing line took my breath away (I can barely sew on a button).

There were many pieces I didn’t take photos of, including a giant geometric bamboo installation you could walk inside, but this whimsical line of swimming costumes blowing gently in the breeze was my favourite. Plus that view hey?

Some sculptures were more esoteric or political than literal, and I’m always fascinated at the rationale behind artists’ work; feral cats are a huge problem here in Australia, and while I’m a domestic cat lover, I certainly appreciated these cutout shapes of our native animals, covered in real feral cat fur:

There was a mob of these chicken wire wallabies, but I only captured two; the twist in the bodies really brings them alive for me:

boneAndsilver blog- sculpture

They look like they’re about to jump away don’t they? #sculpture #Australia #art #creativity

The sizes of artworks varied greatly, and this dingo (obviously made by the same artist as the kangaroo, with old motorcycle parts) was taller than a horse:

boneAndsilver blog- sculpture

#sculpture #Australia #art #creativity

Our strained relationship with the environment, plus the future of our entire species on this planet, were constant themes, and it IS hard nowadays as an artist to not reflect on this challenge constantly:

All these sculptures were ‘fish traps’, reminding the viewer that we are on a one-way path to big trouble if we don’t change our ways… my household stopped eating tuna a long time ago, once ’18’ realised that his younger half-brothers may not actually get to eat ANY tuna once they grow up, as all stocks will have disappeared at the current rate of consumption.

And then more beautiful weaving, from giant sails, swaying in the wind beside the river, to tiny baskets, embedded in a wooden shelter in the park:

It was a wonderful outing, with families, couples, and friends strolling around, enjoying the creative display in a delightful natural setting, rather than an art gallery. We could also gaze at the Spring sky, plus the rolling ocean and tidal river- who could ask for more?

I hope wherever you are, you make time to walk in Nature on your weekend, and perhaps find a sculpture park to enjoy? If  we do get another chance at life after this one, I’m determined to come back as a sculptor (if I have any say in the matter anyway!)

Which one was your favourite? Here’s mine again, with found plastic & fishing line as embroidery:

The wire swimming costumes were my fav #sculpture #Australia #art #creativity

The wire swimming costumes were my fav #sculpture #Australia #art #creativity


In gratitude for visual arts, Spring, and fresh beachside air, G xO 


Treat me like a pin cushion if that will help

Jetlag recovery? Tick. 100% gratitude to be back home in Australia? Tick. Delighted cat and reasonably delighted-but-still-cool teenage son? Tick.

Bullshit lung infection which had me sleeping almost sitting up for three nights then coughing my chest inside out for almost a week? Goddam tick.

I AM SUCH A BAD PATIENT. As in, totally IM-patient. Don’t come near me; don’t sympathise with me; don’t tell me I’ll be better soon; don’t tell me about your neighbour who had it too, and how long it lasted, or the worst cough you ever had…

Just leave me alone to wallow in my pathetic, grumpy, spoilt-brat sick bed, and give me a wide berth until further notice.

Unless you’re my acupuncturist of course. In which case, I want you to come back early from your much-deserved holiday, and stick every single needle you have into every possible meridian point, all over my body, even if they grab or make me wince, and please just help make me better.


[The illness has actually shifted now, but this petulant rant was sitting around in my draft folder, so I thought I’d send it out into the world, to combat my slight shame at being such a gripe.]

What are you like when you’re sick? Do you sponge up any loving care that’s offered, or growl like a grizzly? 

Meanwhile, in gratitude for veggie soup with garlic, ginger, & tumeric, G xO

“How much time have I got left?” Part Two

Deep in my essential core, I’m a dancer. I may be 52 now, and not quite as nimble as I used to be, but I still go to Swing Dance once a month, and my beloved 5Rhythms every week. Not to mention the regular groovy late-afternoon outdoor queer dance parties I sometimes see my son at.

Grateful for my teacher Janis Claxton

She was an incredible mover & performer #grateful #teacher #janisclaxton #inspiring

At age 28, living in Newtown, Sydney, and dancing at techno raves all weekend, I began to wonder if I could make a living with movement somehow… which led me to an extraordinary teacher, Janis Claxton. Her free, wild, & fiery moves still live in my body, while her feisty attitude found a match in mine, inspiring me to pursue performing/Clown/dance & Improvisation (which all still rock my creative world).

Last week she died of lung cancer, aged 53. 

At the Women’s Buddhist Dharma Day Part One last Sunday, facilitator Carol Perry asked us to reflect on the question I’ve titled this post with; of course, none of us know the answer, and therein lies one of the causes of our human suffering.

Apparently when asked why we should meditate, the Buddha replied:

“So you can enjoy your old age.”

Grateful for another sunset #sunset #australia #aging #wellbeing

Grateful for another sunset #sunset #australia #aging #wellbeing

No one in the circle was aged less than 40, and I’d guess the majority of the 25 of us were over 55. I wouldn’t have been there 10 years ago, yet I’m incredibly grateful to have the privilege to be able to sit quietly all day, safe and sound, with a homemade shared feast for lunch, including half a dozen cakes.

Carol’s teachings included the following:

  • Sickness, ageing and death are actually gifts- they remind us what is truly important
  • We cannot escape emotional pain, but we can learn to observe it, and not add further arrows of self-criticism, projection, and reactivity
  • We need to be good supports for others’ sickness, ageing and death
  • Just bear witness, with the full attention of your being
  • Life is full of loss, but also blessings- Ageing helps us be clearer about how to live gracefully
  • This very moment NOW is important
  • We can choose to orientate ourselves to timelessness, mystery, and love
  • Do not cling to the material world
  • Shift yourself from ‘playing roles’ to a sense of freedom- look at what roles you can put down e.g. the Survivor, the Entertainer, the Good Girl
  • To actually live with Present Moment awareness expands time, creating joy & spontaneity
  • In a way, the world becomes bigger, as we realize our dependency and interconnectedness
Grateful for another sunset #sunset #australia #aging #wellbeing

Grateful for another sunset #sunset #australia #aging #wellbeing

There was so much to absorb in her teachings, observations and life experience; my little list in no way does her justice. And perhaps the majority of my almost-1000 bone&silver Readers aren’t really that interested in this topic… but here I am anyway, sharing a unique experience, and wise elder’s perspective.

Are you interested or ready to think about Carol’s big question? How would you change your life today if you knew your time was limited (which IT IS)?

In gratitude for curiosity, and older women who walk the path ahead of me, G xO


“Let your body be a soft & steady place for emotions to land.” Part One

Trees will save the world #gratitude #nature #wellbeing #over50

Buttress roots holding the earth like fingers #gratitude #Australia #nature #organic #wellbeing #over50blogger @boneAndsilver

I just spent 9.30-3pm Sunday in a yurt at a Women’s Buddhist Dharma Day. What does that actually mean G? Well, it meant I got up at 6.30 to cook a spinach pie for the shared lunch, drove there too fast because I left a bit late and didn’t know where I was going, was the second last one to bumble into the serious silent sitting circle of women, and then spent hours listening to a wise elder speak about Ageing as we meditated together.

It was a great day, and such a huge gift to myself.

The day’s facilitator Carol Perry also taught at that Eco Village/Permaculture Week Intensive I did- remember that? I love her. And guess what? Because I’d almost arrived late, I got to sit next to her in the circle- I began soaking up her wisdom vibes like a thirsty sponge, hoping she wouldn’t notice the intense draining.

Last time I heard her give a presentation, she said this, which almost brought half the room to tears:

“My first Invitation to you all is that all the [emotional] parts of you are Welcome, and I have all the room in the world for all your parts.”

And on Sunday, it was the quote with which I titled this post which touched me the most. She is SO awesome; I want to find a way to apprentice myself to her. She simply creates real space for ‘Being’, and has been a Mediator and Conflict Resolution practitioner in both the community and corporate worlds for decades.

I learnt Transcendental Meditation 30 years ago, and have practiced on and off (mostly entirely off) since then. For the last year though, I’ve been trying to create a habit of meditating for 20 minutes when I first wake up, if I can resist the pull of the goddam smartphone and the naughty elf which lives inside it.

Meditating in a group brings powerful depth, and some of the women had been coming to the circle for many years; I felt like a mermaid, swimming with my shoal.

Carol talked about ‘ageing well, with grace’. At 73, she truly embodies a generous, loving, kind, humorous and attentive commitment to being alive, while retaining a visceral connection to the 3 guaranteed changes of Life: suffering, ageing, and death.

Yes indeed.

My recent trip back to England to see Mum, who is daily sliding further into her dementia, brought those 3 elements right up in my face. Mum’s Mum was diagnosed with dementia at 80, and so was Mum. My darling son ’18’ stands at the kitchen counter, fixing me with his brutal clear gaze, and says:

‘So Mum, another 30 years for you too till you start checking out?’


Carol’s teachings and reflections were a comfort I didn’t know I needed; I will elaborate them in Part Two, so take a deep breath, and I’ll meet you here…

In gratitude for fresh air in my lungs, G xO


I’ve been gagged by a comet- more delights of dating over 50

Going on a date night over 50 for my wellbeing and pleasure

#over50 #queer #rainbow #australia #dating @boneAndsilver

Remember the Comet I wrote about 3 months ago, as a romantic prospect? And all your great comments to just relax, stop thinking too much, jump in and have a good time?

Well, basically I relaxed, stopped thinking, jumped in, and have been having a GREAT time!

However, I’ve been officially gagged:

‘So what do you blog about at bone&silver?’

‘Oh you know, being over 50, having a teenager, online dating etc…’

‘Ok. Interesting. Well here’s my rule: if you’re going to date me, you can’t write anything about it. And no images either, anywhere.’

‘Right. Well, that’s clear. My ex loved it… but I hear you. I’ll miss writing about it, but yes, I can agree to that.’

So there you have it. This person has zero social media presence (trust me, I looked really hard in the beginning), and you know when you Google yourself and find a few images? Another big fat zero.

So there’s no way I’m going to mess with that.

Which means I need to stop writing this post very soon. My heart has definitely healed from my break up with the ex, and I have been having fun times. I miss that sense of a deep creative connection though; everyone offers unique gifts of course, and there’s no doubt the Comet is a special find… I just need to wait and see how we arc across the sky together.

And I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to tell you about it. I’m grateful for the experiences so far though, and rest assured I’m happy, curious, excited, slightly vulnerable, and willing to fly.

In gratitude for dating courage, G xO

Three more great moments from Mum, thanks to my smartphone ‘Notes’ feature

I’m two weeks back in Oz now, jetlag gone, and trying to make more space on my phone by deleting notes & photos. I’m so glad I was inspired to write down stuff Mum was saying, as no matter how fabulous it was, I just wouldn’t have remembered it all without prompts.

Here’s my Top Three (& you need to know Mum is proudly Celtic in heritage, a little unconventional, and sometimes incredibly philosophical).

  • On watching the Carnival Parade in our small seaside town, clapping along to the Marching Band-

“Mum, I think you’re out of time.”

“No, I’m doing Welsh time.”

  • The next morning, a Sunday, while the church bells are ringing-

“Mum, you’re still covered in glitter from hugging that random person off their float…”

“Oh well, it’s a good thing I’m not married to the vicar then isn’t it?”

  • At our last dinner together before my return to Australia-

“Shall we have a toast Mum?”

“Yes: to all the people who love us, all the people who’ve loved us, and everyone who’s going to love us.”

Sharing healthy food over 50 staves off dementia

The Last Supper #food #grateful #dementia #love


Sounds good to me Mum xO


Osteopath: ‘You’re all locked up, & we need to shift it.’ Me: ‘OK…’ *gulps

There's no place like home & I'm nearly there

On the train home after 16,000kms flying #traveller #jetlag #tired #grateful @boneAndsilver

I’ve been back from England for 10 days now (16,886 kms away from home in Australia), and my valiant struggles with the dreaded jetlag are finally paying off. Last night I did open my eyes at 1.30am as usual, but instead of lying there till 4.30, wide awake and wanting some dinner, I went back to sleep within 30 minutes, so have woken up feeling relatively normal.

This is joy.

And I’m not going to whinge on about the incredible privilege of international air travel, when so many millions of fellow human beings are homeless or without access to clean water…

But jetlag does suck bad.

Plus sleeping on a shitty pull-out bed on Mum’s floor for 3 weeks had stressed my back, therefore a visit to the Osteopath was part of my self-care strategy on returning. I was massaged, manipulated, adjusted and cracked, especially my chest/rib area, front and back.

You know, around your heart. Interesting that.

I went home from the appointment feeling terrible: nauseous like morning sickness, grumpy, on edge, and prickly too. Poor ’18’. Going to school suddenly looked like way more fun than it had the day before as he’d wangled to hang out with me.

The next day, home alone, I just cried and cried. Like, every hour on the hour.

Cried for Mum, for me, for ’18’. For everyone I knew who was losing or lost a parent; for all of us ageing and moving towards our own demise; for every human on this planet who is suffering; for the suffering planet herself. Also for cool songs on the radio, and my favourite avocado on toast snack.

Man, I wept!

I’d been bottling up so much for the entire trip, and finally felt safe enough to let it go.

The following day, back at work, people told me I looked really light, pretty, and well. I smiled to myself and thought ‘I doubt crying all day will become the latest popular beauty routine, but maybe there’s something in it anyway…?’

In gratitude for the safety and space I have at home, G xO


The 2 most amazing things my 82-yr old Mum said, despite her dementia

Being playful keeps you young, over 50 or over 80

Grateful for my wise Mum #gratitude #wisdom #crone #wellbeing @boneAndsilver

I recently heard this analogy about memory: imagine your brain is a bookcase, filled with books of wisdom and learning from the lowest shelves upwards… but as you age- or get dementia- the topmost books fall off, one by one, or sometimes two by two, until the shelves slowly empty down to the ground…

Yet Mum still said great things during our three weeks together, and I’m grateful I wrote them down; there will be more to come.

Scenario 1: We’re in her living room, surrounded by plump bookcases- she used to be the Head Librarian of our town. Suddenly she picks up a hardcover book, opens it to a few pages from the front and reads aloud this Rumi quote:

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I remembered one of my recent posts- “Nostalgia looks like a hedge, sounds like a seagull, & tastes like crumpets” -about the release of painful memories actually being a blessing for us both. She’s onto it hey?

Being playful keeps you young, over 50 or over 80

Grateful for my wise Mum #gratitude #wisdom #crone #wellbeing @boneAndsilver

Scenario 2: I was in the kitchen, being bossy on the phone trying to sort out a plumber to fix her bad drains, and she was shadowing me as I paced around her small flat, gesticulating and emphasising the urgency. Suddenly she said:

“It’s so wonderful to see your little girl grown up into all sorts of magical things you’d never have thought of.”

I love you Mum, and am so grateful for the challenges but gifts this trip to the UK brought me; I’m typing this from my first night back in Australia, and oh boy it’s good to have returned!

In plain gratitude for Home, love G xO

A 2nd merry Monday with Mum, & new word for us all

I'm still enjoying the way my Mum's mind works

There is truly joy to be found everywhere #joy #wellbeing #dementia #Mum #funny #creative @boneAndsilver

Me (in the kitchen): What are you doing Mum?

Mum (in the garden): I’m twilting

Me (wandering outside): What does that mean?

Mum: Well, it’s a new word- it means moving things around in different shapes and sizes- that’s what I’m doing with the washing now

Me: OK Mum, sounds good- I’d better write that down