I’ve just one thing to share about Trump, the Time cover, Weinstein, #MeToo, & now Marriage Equality in Australia at last
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Living with teenage son No.6
Him: Mum, can my friend Elly pop over and borrow some muffin tins? She’s made the batter already, and just realised she doesn’t have any.
Me: Sure [feeling smug that I’m such a domestic goddess]. But I need them back in a couple of days…
ONE MONTH LATER
Me: [Texting ’17’ at his Dad’s] Hey where are my muffin tins?
Him: Oh yeah. Hang on… [Multiple teenage communication apps launched simultaneously] They’re at her Mum’s. But she’s at her Dad’s.
Me: Well I need them back ASAP [Subtext “Before I forget for another month”]
Him: Hang on… [Apps flurry & beep]… Can you get them yourself? She won’t be back till after weekend.
Me: [*sigh]. Sure. What’s address? And her Mum’s name? We’ve never met.
Him: [Flurry & beep] Address is ******.
Me: [In Blue]
Texting with teenage son #coolMum #teenager #over50 #positiveaging @boneAndsilver
Me: Wait- so I have to let myself into her Mum’s dark house, ‘cos no one’s home?
Him: Yup. Back door always open. It’s cool Mum.
30 MINUTES LATER
Texting with teenage son #coolMum #teenager #over50 #positiveaging @boneAndsilver
Our final show rocked
Proud to be over 50 and still performing professionally #theatreartist #gratitude #positiveaging @boneAndsilver
We did it! And here’s the ubiquitous backstage half-made-up ‘selfie’ [with apologies to the other awesome performer, but I’m protecting her privacy]. It took us 4 shows to get it perfect, but oh boy, did we soar with the last one; utterly worth all the stress, anxiety, rehearsal, and planning.
I’d stressed about learning my lines in the last post HERE, and we did get last minute changes [waaaaaaaahhhhhh], but all coped. The sound guy turned up on time (always a good omen), and learnt the multiple technical cues fast.
We had full houses (mind you, because it travelled through 4 rooms underneath a heritage building which had no aircon- I’m in Australia remember), we had to limit them to maximum of 50.
Proud to be over 50 and still performing professionally #theatreartist #gratitude #positiveaging @boneAndsilver
It was officially ‘ an immersive & interactive colour adventure for 5-8 year olds’, and the cast of four did an amazing job; I’m so proud and grateful to be part of the team.
Our Director was delighted, and industry professionals and promoters came to see the last show (hurray), so there is optimistic talk of possible regional tours. I LOVE to perform and tour; it is a fabulous way to travel, yet also giving back to the communities we visit.
Plus not paying for airfares, accommodation, and even food is obviously a huge bonus.
Thank you to my bone&silver tribe for all your helpful line-learning suggestions and encouragement; you are darlings. And I’m glad some of you “lapsed and/or terrified” theatre performers can live vicariously through me.
Like I said, I believe I have the best job in the world; my cheeky friend captured this moment perfectly, as I shared a joke about my ridiculous yet awesome life:
Instagram snap #positiveaging #gratitude #theatre #Australia
In gratitude for sharing my adventures, G xO
Oh how I hate learning lines! But it’s still the best job in the world
This is a stressful week for me: we’re opening a new show on Friday morning. It’s our fourth version of it, and at last, it feels like we’re getting it right.
I actually pulled out of it before we began, due to the stresses of dealing with my Mum, and concerns I may have to fly over to England right in the middle of rehearsals.
But she’s getting two visits a day from the community nurse, and my brother is visiting her for 4 days tomorrow, so that feels sorted; the show’s director rang me the morning after I resigned to check that I really didn’t want to do it before she offered it to someone else.
Which was very sweet. And smart. Plus exactly what I needed to hear. So I said yes again.
I do make a really good Red.
Children’s immersive theatre show, by Roundabout Theatre in Australia #roundabouttheatre #immersivetheatre @roundabouttheatre @mongrelmouth
But that means I have to learn lines, WHICH I HATE. And to be honest, I’m not very good at it either; it also gets harder as you get older. *sigh.
I’ve looked up the Top Ten ways… recorded them onto my voice memos on my phone… played them over and over in my head while driving (I hope that’s not illegal??)… read them as I eat my lunch… paced the garden reciting them to myself… looked at them last thing before sleep, and as soon as I open my eyes… handwritten them out… dreamt about them…
Yet still I fumbled them in the first dress rehearsal yesterday! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Children’s immersive theatre show, by Roundabout Theatre in Australia #roundabouttheatre #immersivetheatre @roundabouttheatre @mongrelmouth
It’s hard not to be tough on yourself isn’t it? I know some of you out there are teachers/executives/writers/business owners & managers/regular office workers/retired folk, but it still feels bad when you let both your team and yourself down doesn’t it? What do you hate about your job? And what’s the best bit?
I know it’s not exactly life-saving work I’m doing: an immersive theatre show for 5-8 year olds, trying to get them to protect the last rainbow.
But still.
I hate learning lines, and I’m not very good at it (although I’ll own that I’m awesome at all visual/physical/musical cues), but this is still THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD, and I am incredibly grateful every single day that I get to do this.
I just had to have a little procrastinating blog whinge, to partly explain my absence this week in commenting and reading everyone’s posts, and let off steam, while also being thankful.
Right, got that off my chest, now back to the script:
“… Redness Red, I’ve come to collect, It’s all for ME, the big Red effect!”
In gratitude for creativity, G xO
Hello Pinterest. Goodbye Pinterest.
BLOGGING TIPS-
Handwritten blogging layout tips #blogging #layout @boneAndsilver
About a month ago, I met with a ‘blogging expert.’ I’ve really enjoyed the last 9 months of taking this blog more seriously, which to me meant posting and commenting regularly. So I thought I’d check in to make sure I wasn’t making any terribly dumb mistakes. I’ve absolutely loved getting more readers, and more importantly, such fabulous interactions and comments from my ‘tribe’.
For you all feel like my tribe out there. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve deleted followers who suddenly appear, and have no perceived connection, input, profile pic, or even actual blog! I’m not interested in fake ‘numbers’ (and as an aside, my dear reader ‘T’ over at No Love for Fatties who started to check her own followers deleted over 100- we had a cyber laugh about that!)
JOINING MORE SOCIAL MEDIA-
Anyway, along with 10 scrawled pages of tips and hints (which cost me $120/hr, half of which I can’t decipher now), I was told I HAD to join Twitter and Pinterest, to increase my reach.
OK. Done. Even though I have vehemently resisted Twitter up till now- who wants to be tweeted at all day long??
Now it’s 4 weeks later, and today I decided to delete Pinterest. It’s cute, looking at all those incredible images, and yes, I could scroll all day, sighing at all the beautifully framed, artistically-focused shots, but I’m not reading or writing am I? Newsflash: I don’t want to be a photographer. D’oh.
I need to prioritise my screen time, and pretty pictures aren’t making the cut.
Reducing screen time is good self care for everyone incl over 50s #handdrawn #comics #screentime #wellbeing @boneAndsilver
My jury is still out on Twitter though. I hated it for a week, till I started following some funny feminists, a few musicians, a couple of comedians and politicians [same thing?], and a partridge in a pear tree, then got re-tweeted by Brian at Bonnywood Manor which was such a thrilling surprise (his posts about cat Scotch are hilarious- thanks Brian x).
So now I’m giving Twitter another month, and I’ll let you know what happens. You could come find me on there I guess: bone&silver @boneAndsilver . I have 4 followers hahaha. *sigh
USING MY SCREEN TIME WISELY, AND EFFECTIVELY-
Remember that post I did about 50 minutes of special hat-wearing on each task HERE? I’m still doing it quite often, and realised I don’t want to add more hats to my wardrobe. I enjoy my Instagram cap, and my Facebook beanie; the Twitter top hat gets another month, but Pinterest is gone, with not even a hat named after it.
I felt even more justified in my instinctive decision when I read of this social media experiment: 10 experienced bloggers spending 15 minutes a day for one month expanding their Pinterest profiles, with the aim of increasing traffic to their blog (full article HERE)
“But the question we were really trying to answer was: can Pinterest dramatically increase your blog’s traffic? And for most of us that participated, the answer is no.”
Rebecca Coleman- Social Media Marketing
Disclaimer: I am NOT deriding Pinterest, nor those who love and use it. I’m just sharing my personal opinion and research. What do you think- is your experience similar or completely different? I’d love to hear it! Have I been hasty?
In gratitude for the discussions, G xO
Last weekend I was hit by a bird. Wallis Bird.
Live music rocks
I live in a small country town in regional Australia, with a huge number of artists and creative folk in its make up. Because we’re near Byron Bay, the most Easterly point of the mainland, a mecca for tourists and Australians alike, we have a lot of festivals all year round.
I’m talking music festivals, food festivals, arts and crafts, healing and esoteric, dance, yoga, renewable energy, building design, crystals, antiques, comedy, more food, and of course more music .
As a performer, I’m lucky enough to often get gigs at some of them, which usually means an ‘Access All Areas’ full pass, plus privileges like parking facilities for costume drop offs, and of course a fee.
I’m a blessed and grateful woman.
Sample of ridiculous lanyard collection #gratitude #over50smusiclover @boneAndsilver
So I’ve seen a lot of music, a lot of performance, a lot of shows. I’ve been doing this work in this area for 20 years this year (although I won’t be getting a pension, nor any large Superannuation payout that’s for sure).
I’ve shared backstage space with a lot of musicians, various writers and politicians, a few actors and stand up comedians, a number of other performing artists, and quite a few egos the size of a small marquee.
I’ve been around; I’ve seen a lot of artists ‘do their thing’. I’ve seen old timers like Buddy Guy or Barry White just chillin’ back on a chair, doing the minimal, because that’s all we need.
I’ve seen passionate politicians like Gough Whitlam or Julia Gillard still inspiring audiences to strive for a fairer society.
And I’ve seen actors, poets, singers, and even dancers move patrons to tears, over and over again.
I’m one of those. I LOVE the arts, and one of my top favourite places in the world to be is not an exotic beach, nor ancient monument or landscape, but rather the darkened theatre in that moment before the curtain rises or the first note of the song rings out.
My small country town hosts a music festival every year- this year was the 10th. The Director handpicks both known and unknown acts from around the world, some of whom return every year- the loyalty and friendliness is one of the festival’s winning vibes.
This year, he brought us Wallis Bird.
Do yourself a favour: if she tours near you, go see her. If she tours near a family member or distant relative, go stay with them, and buy them a ticket too. If she’s performing in a country you’ve always wanted to visit, now’s the time to book that plane flight, and cross it off your bucket list.
She’s extraordinary.
She’s Irish, lives in Europe, and lost 4 fingers in a mowing accident so plays guitar upside down. She rocks out!
The extraordinary Irish solo musician Wallis Bird #livemusic #femalemusician @wallisbird @amandapalmer
A vivid, visceral, and utterly heart-centred artist, passionately expressing what they were put on this planet to do.
When was the last time you went and saw some good live music? Got sweaty and jostled with a dancing crowd, or sat peacefully with eyes closed listening to a string quartet? Whatever your preferred style, make a date to check out a good live musician this month, and bathe in the raw, real power of musical prowess. And who cares if you’re over 40 or 50? Show the young folk that good music can always be appreciated.
I’d especially recommend Wallis Bird, but you know that already, and here’s the standing ovation she drew from my hometown crowd:
In gratitude for the music, G
Prepare to lie. Prepare to buy. Prepare to die. Part Two
This seems like a timely re-blog re Black Friday shopping madness. 15,000 scientists just begged humanity to change course, for the sake of the environment we LIVE IN; we gotta make changes!
We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving (yet) in Australia, nor do we have Black Friday. In 2016, more than 154 million Americans shopped either online or in store, according to a National Retail federation survey from CNN, Nov 27. They spent $1.9 billion online on Thanksgiving Day and another $3.3 billion on Friday, according to Adobe. In 2014, total spending for the 4-day Thanksgiving/Black Friday holiday weekend was over $50 billion.
In 1994, I travelled through Indonesia with a flatmate from Sydney. We went to Sumatra, way off the beaten track then, and got terrible ‘Bali belly’ the day after we landed. It was the morning of an all-day bus ride up the island, and my period arrived too. So there I was, losing all my bodily fluids explosively from all holes, sitting on a crammed bus where we were the only white faces, driving further and further off into the unknown…
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Talking with teenage son No.5
Me: Honey, you need to wipe up please. Don’t you have to do chores at Dad’s?
Him: Are you kidding me? I have to empty the dishwasher, make my own school lunch, feed the dogs, AND babysit my two brothers; it’s like Boot Camp up there!
Australia has woken up covered in rainbows and glitter
We did it! We got the YES vote for marriage equality, after a $122 million dollar waste-of-time- plebiscite which caused incredible distress to many members of the gay community, especially young folk (calls to helplines quadrupled).
#AustraliaSaidYes #marriageequality @TurnbullMalcolm @boneAndsilver
61% Yes, 38% No. Personally, I’d like it to be 99% Yes, but all that really matters now is that it becomes law. And Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has tweeted that he will make it so by Christmas. That literally makes me cry typing that; so many Queer couples I’ve never even met will be able to fulfil their romantic dream, AND be equal in the eyes of the law.
My Facebook feed is full of smiling faces surrounded by rainbows, with tears of relief and excitement flooding down. I join them gladly; it’s an honour.
I felt so emotional all day yesterday, unexpectedly so. If I’d have lived in one of the capital cities, I’d have been out dancing to all those classic old favourite disco songs with the rest of my wonderful gay community! (Melbourne and Sydney both returned 84% Yes votes).
Love is Love indeed; I may not want to get married, but it’s a human right to be equally allowed to do so. And I’ve walked in both worlds, the straight and the Queer, so I feel like I know the relief of just being able to be your true self, and to show your love for your beloved.
#AustraliaSaidYes #marriageequality @TurnbullMalcolm @boneAndsilver
On that note, ‘H’ arrives tomorrow for a week! Perfect timing. From the wide spaces of Australia, through the cities and regional towns, to the Arrivals gate of the Domestic airport, all we all want is to feel connected, respected, valuable, and equal.
Yesterday, Australia did just that.
And if you want to join in this feeling of delight, click this link for photos of celebrations around the country. How beautifully bright and joyous is that??
It’s Time! And we did it. HURRAY!
And I must acknowledge, with deepest respect, all the gay and lesbian activists (young and old), as well as just regular people living their gay lives, and raising their gay families, who have steadily and determinedly campaigned for equal rights, visibility, and acceptance.
From their decades of relentless, painful, and sometimes dangerous work, comes this freedom and joy. I salute you all.
In absolute gratitude for Love, G
PS: Dear WordPress, thank you for the ongoing support with the rainbow bar on blogs in Australia; please don’t take it away, it’s so pretty, love G xxx
The simplest, most effective daily gift for you and your teenager
How much screen time?
According to the Washington Post in 2015, teenagers spend an average of 9 hours a day looking at screens. NINE HOURS. (Children aged 8-12 are on about 6 hours). It’s 2017, so I’d guess the times are slightly higher now.
reducing screen time is good self care, for over 50s and teenagers #hand drawn #comics #screen time #teenagers @boneAndsilver
Adults are on approx 4 hours a day in their leisure time, but obviously more if they sit at a desk with computer in front of them. Here in Australia, we have a particularly high engagement with our smartphones; some estimates are up to 10 hours a day (Source: ABC News May 14 2016).
It’s simple: switch off the wifi
When my son was approaching his teens, and had been given his first smart-ish phone by his Dad’s family for Xmas (which I had no say in unfortunately), a wise friend with a son 7 years older than mine gave me this advice: no screens in the bedroom.
Brilliant. Don’t let them lock themselves away with TVs or laptops plus smartphones; some kids text and message each other at 2am on a school night.
We all need to be asleep at 2am on a school night!
And here’s an even easier action: just turn off the wifi.
reducing screen time is good self care, for over 50s and teenagers #wifi #screentime #teenagers @boneAndsilver
I know, shocking concept isn’t it? But it’s actually easier than you think, as the ‘Off’ button should still function despite lack of use.
I was a really difficult teen myself: rebellious, yet also racked with anxiety and insecurities. My poor Mum had her own dramas going on (I realize now), with the menopause, a challenging full time job as a single Mum, and various health issues she kept from us.
So I felt ill-prepared for my own journey as the mother of a soon-to-be-teenager, and chose to undertake a two-day ‘Parenting a Teenager’ intensive through our local youth centre. I then did a 6-week course, meeting other parents once a week.
In a nutshell, this is what I learnt:
- Open communication is essential (sitting side by side in the car is good for comfortable connecting, especially with boys)
- Parents must accept they are no longer the centre of their child’s world, although the child will always be the centre of theirs (this is really hard, and I think a lifelong challenge)
- Firm boundaries are incredibly important in giving your teen a sense of what to push up against
And my absolute favourite (which I love so much that I just spent 2 hours hand-making this image):
Parenting a teenager, controlling internet access and screen time #wifi #teenager #over50 @boneAndsilver
You all know this already, yes? I could have filled this post with other statistics and references, or examples of negative health & social outcomes, but it’s all out there and easy to find.
What I’m interested in on this blog together is what we already know, in our bones. And the movement or action we can take to honour that.
All of us who are over 20 have already embodied a life without the internet; we know what it’s like to talk on a landline to one friend at a time, then to have to say goodnight and sleep till morning, before reconnecting on the walk to school or the bus trip.
But the teenagers in our lives haven’t felt this; we need to do right by all of us, and shut the damn wifi down.
Ours goes off at 9.30pm, 10 at the latest, and stays on later at weekends (very occasionally till 2am I admit. But that is certainly not a habit). However, it ALWAYS goes off, so that we get a chance to unplug.
I’m not saying it’s easy. But I do feel it’s Right. What do you think? Or more importantly, how do you feel…?
With gratitude, G x
bone&silver 