All posts tagged: queer

Me Monday: The big reveal, for our one year anniversary

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So, regular folk round here know I’ve been dating ‘H’ for a while, with both of us shuttling back and forth between Melbourne and home (near Byron Bay, Australia) once a month. We chanced across each other online, then spent three months emailing or texting, plus exchanging stories and hand drawn comics; we never spoke on the phone. Finally, we met at noon outside Flinders St train station, an iconic Melbourne landmark. And the rest, as they say, ladies and gentlemen, is Herstory. If you’re really keen, you could revisit or explore these past posts: Episode 2: ‘Yes Lets’ Episode 4: Multiple choice Episode 8: Best thirty bucks I ever spent We’ve just had our one year anniversary, where we recreated our first date exactly, meeting at the train station, going for Japanese lunch, wandering the streets of downtown Melbourne, then returning to the dusty second hand bookshop where we had our first shy kiss. So cute. And we agreed it was time for the big reveal, so here we are, standing at Flinders twelve …

In celebration in Australia: I passed 2 young girls leaving the beach…

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… Perhaps they were sisters, cousins, or just neighbourhood friends? Both blonde, only 6 or 7, dripping wet from the warm summer sea, wrapped in large striped towels, with matching bangles and pink toe nail polish. They walked side by side, earnestly discussing the merits of using the cold water outdoor shower to wash sand off their feet, so I moved over to let them pass on the narrow track. They barely acknowledged me; too full of the adventure of a sunset swim, and being big enough to go to the beach by themselves. I wondered what I looked like to them? ‘Old’ for sure, with my silver hair. Perhaps trustworthy? People often say I have a kind face and eyes. I watched them giggle and gaggle off the sandy path, then turned up my music, so it blasted through my headphones. For just before 6pm on Thursday 7th December, the Australian Parliament finally passed our marriage equality laws, and I had to dance. Not for me; I’ve never wanted to get married, to man …

relationships, online dating, raising a teenager, over 50, positive ageing

Australia has woken up covered in rainbows and glitter

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We did it! We got the YES vote for marriage equality, after a $122 million dollar waste-of-time- plebiscite which caused incredible distress to many members of the gay community, especially young folk (calls to helplines quadrupled). 61% Yes, 38% No. Personally, I’d like it to be 99% Yes, but all that really matters now is that it becomes law. And Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has tweeted that he will make it so by Christmas. That literally makes me cry typing that; so many Queer couples I’ve never even met will be able to fulfil their romantic dream, AND be equal in the eyes of the law. My Facebook feed is full of smiling faces surrounded by rainbows, with tears of relief and excitement flooding down. I join them gladly; it’s an honour. I felt so emotional all day yesterday, unexpectedly so. If I’d have lived in one of the capital cities, I’d have been out dancing to all those classic old favourite disco songs with the rest of my wonderful gay community! (Melbourne and Sydney …

relationships, online dating, raising a teenager, over 50, positive ageing

Bumpy

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I haven’t updated about my online dating romance in a while, as things have just been cruising along: month off/week on/daily texts/phone calls & Skype chats 3 times a week or so, all cute n cosy. Till ‘H’s latest visit this weekend. Hmmm, is ‘bumpy’ the right word? No one’s fault really; just two slightly stressed human beings, bringing their fears, their wounds, and their frailty to the fore. You all know I’ve got quite a lot going on: Mum over in the UK who’s health is in decline and in a bit of a crisis right now, plus general exhaustion at the shitty state of the world. ‘H’ packed a small suitcase for this trip with some of the stress of building a new house on a tight budget, and various other creative/financial challenges at home in Melbourne. We tried to set our 4-day table with care and kindness, but right from the airport pick up, we somehow disconnected. Oh dear. Add in a delayed flight, driving home in the dark, missing dinner etc, plus …

The ‘rainbow bar’ comes from an Australian engineer; here’s a screenshot

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In this crazy time of hurricanes, floods, and earthquakes, I just want to celebrate a little human caring. This is for all you fabulous Americans/Canadians/UKs/Kiwis etc etc who (after my previous post HERE) commented “I wish I had one of those!”: I’d sent that post in to ‘Discover’ on WordPress, not to get ‘Discovered’, but just to try and let WordPress know how impressed I was. I fast got this email back from the Editorial Team: “Hello GG, Thanks so much for sharing your kind words about the rainbow bar with us. One of our Australian engineers conceived this idea and put it together to be able to show WordPress.com and Automattic’s support for marriage equality. I posted your note and I know he’ll appreciate your support. As a Canadian, (where we’ve had marriage equality since 2005) I wholeheartedly hope Australia votes YES. Let love win! All the best…” And I’ve only had 2 negative comments, which I trashed, and removed as Followers of my blog. Love and let Love indeed ❤  

When a rainbow appeared in my blue WordPress sky…

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It was a few days ago; did you get one? I suddenly registered that there was a rainbow band across the top of my blog, on every page, incl the Stats and Reader. It’s not on my actual blog site, but firmly everywhere else. I couldn’t see it on other blogs though, so last night I Googled it: ‘Why rainbow on WordPress blog?’ Google offered me 2 other people who’d asked the same question of WordPress, both of whom were cranky, saying ‘get this rainbow off my site!’ Here’s the WordPress reply: Australia will be holding a national survey on marriage equality over the next two months. To show our support for marriage equality, we’re showing the rainbow bar to all our Australian visitors. You can read more about the marriage equality campaign here: http://www.equalitycampaign.org.au/ We cannot remove this banner for individual sites. We understand it looks a bit different to what you’re used to, but it’s here for everyone. We absolutely respect your right to publish the content you choose to your site, but the …

Blog tales for the Over 50s with positive ageing, dating & relationships

Jetlag’s gone. So I’m back. With a Soft Linger in Puppet Lane…

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Maybe it’s having another birthday pass without hearing from him? Or travelling in France, where he spent so many years? Or simply because I was in the UK seeing Mum? Whatever the reasons, last week I drove home from work in a nearby town, and a vivid memory bubble burst across my steering wheel. Because as well as blogging, I’m a performer. I do street theatre, festivals, corporate gigs, and community events like parades, fundraisers, and cabarets. It’s a great [varied] job, I’m pretty good at it, and have been doing it in various incarnations for almost 25 years: My memory bubble was from 2005: Dad had flown from his home in Canada to visit for 3 weeks, and I was performing in a cabaret fundraiser at local queer pub The Winsome. The venue was packed, and noisy. Lots of flamboyant folk were being flamboyant, while the MC was being very funny. I asked for a simple introduction, and settled myself quietly on the floor with my large black garbage bag. The crowd wasn’t taking …

What was my 51st birthday present, you’re wondering?

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I waited 3 weeks, carrying it with me from Australia to France, under instructions not to open it. So at last the moment came, at 1am on birthday morning in my cute orange tent under the walnut trees (which was absolutely my birthday good and proper in Oz)! It was a 2nd hand book. A kid’s book. A classic, nostalgia-filled, heart-warming kid’s book, which sat on every single bookcase in Australia (and America? Did you have one?). Except… H ripped out all the pages. So I got the cover, and the inside cover, where clumsy young fingers would proudly print their names: Then as you can see from the chickens, it all went a bit rogue and unpredictable! And that’s because dearest H is the most amazing collage/graphic artist, and spent hours making me a unique record and interpretation of our dating journey, from the first cheeky email in October, to the meeting under the Flinders St clocks in Melbourne just before Xmas, and so on and so on and so on. I wasn’t going …

Blissed lissed. Or blist list.

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Gratitude means feeling like the luckiest woman in the world, and humbly saying thank you for: Airport greetings Slow-cooked dinner as soon as we walk in the door Warm, clean, safe home to sleep in Noisy, cheery tropical bird dawn chorus Tangerine sorbet skies behind palm trees out of the bedroom window Talking; listening; looking; holding. Resting. Remembering why we’re doing this. Beach walks Farmer’s Market fresh organic food, and bumping into friends A Swing Dance lesson on the sand Painting a teenager’s bedroom walls white as a surprise for when he comes back from his Dad’s Tasty snacks and peppermint tea Talking; listening; looking; holding. Resting. Remembering why. Quiet times: you do your thing, I’ll do mine Cat cuddles. Cat meows. Cat cuteness. And my favourite? Siestas in the soft winter sun    

relationships, online dating, raising a teenager, over 50, positive ageing

bread & butter Vs death: the neuroscience of Arguing

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#1. You [with soft tone]: ‘Sorry I’m late for the movie, I thought you said it started at 7 not 6. And the traffic was terrible.’ Me: ‘ I feel pretty annoyed you’re so late, but I guess we can see the 8pm session, or just go home? Maybe we need to check in re the exact movie time on the actual day, so this doesn’t happen again?’ You: ‘I’m so sorry darlin, I felt really bad when I realised I was letting you down. Let’s see the 8pm, and I’ll buy the popcorn. Hug me for a moment first though.’ This is a ‘bread & butter’ misunderstanding and reaction (i.e. just an everyday disagreement). The exchange is clear: You made a genuine mistake, and have owned it, apologised, and given the injured party the power to decide what happens next. Both of you decided to reassure the other that they were still important and cared about, despite the mix-up. Plus long hugs are calming. #2. You [in brusque tone]: ‘Sorry I’m late for the …