As most of you know, my beloved ex ‘H’ lived in Melbourne, while I’m up near Byron Bay, so regular flights up and down were a strong pattern in our relationship. Since our break up end of Feb, I’ve been slowly but steadily mourning then recovering… and I just survived a huge test: I spent a long weekend in Melbourne with my best friend R, who lives there now.
I will admit, it wasn’t easy. I was almost in tears at the airport before I left, knowing ‘H’ wasn’t going to pick me up. I felt really sad and flat, but of course could express that to R, who understood and reassured me. Thank goodness for wise friends hey?
I had to battle myself almost every hour not to text ‘H’ (we’ve had pretty much no contact since agreeing we were through), and being left alone in my Airbnb was the most dangerous time… but luckily it was a quirky place, so there were a few items to distract me.
R and I kept ourselves busy, dancing up a 5Rhythms storm, and I reminded myself to breathe deeply every time I felt the pull to reach out to ‘H’; there were several very good reasons why we decided not to continue our connection, of course, and I just had to calm down my nostalgic, romantic yearnings, I knew that.
It was a tough fight! I wanted to melt into the sweet memory of being ‘in love’, and wallow full of dreamy plans for the future. Remaining in the Now, and truly feeling the reality of the valid choices I’ve made, was not nearly as much fun.
But I did it.
And now I’m back home, with a delighted snoring cat, who apparently missed me so much he needs to sleep on my bed all day just to get over the trauma.
I can feel my heart is a little tender still; but today I’m going to play my essential break up thriving song, and have a dance in the living room… Do you have a favourite tune you could share with me?
In gratitude for disco, which always makes everything better, and softly snoring cats, G xO