Me: You really need to get a new battery for your smartphone honey, it’s very frustrating not being able to get hold of you sometimes. Him: No Mum. I’ve decided I want to buy a cheap phone without internet facilities; I’m sick of being reachable in so many ways by so many people. And the social media just distracts me. Call me ‘The Backlash’.
Originally posted on Whisper and the Roar:
Why had my cousin rung me 5 times in thirty minutes? I returned my phone to airplane mode, and pushed open the classroom door. But during the lesson, my attention kept being pulled back to the call record, even while I taught; why was my stomach knotting? The one hour dragged like mud, then I pressed redial. ‘It’s your Dad. He had a heart attack in Hawaii and…’ And is in hospital. Is fine. Will be fine. Or confined to a wheelchair at worst. ‘… and he died. I’m so sorry.’ Who took my knees away and punched me in the gut? Can I just curl up here and die on the street too? A passing cyclist wobbles and stops. ‘Are you OK?’ No. Yes. No. I can’t share this pain with you, leave me alone! Lying in bed that night, alone at home, with a silent waterfall streaming out of my eyes, drowning all those childhood snaps of kids on bikes, throwing snowballs, cuddling dogs. A black…
Hello Beloved Readers, and Happy 2018! I’ve missed you, but it was wonderful to give myself permission to unplug, letting the blog world responsibilities slide for a few days… And now I’m tip-toeing back, with a relaxed smile on my face. For I’ve survived another Christmas season. Every year I feel my anxiety start to climb mid-December, then welcome a huge sense of relief once the actual day is done. I think it’s inherited; somewhere there’s a classic family photo from the 80’s of 3 generations of us, opening presents on a dull English Xmas morning, while literally everyone looks grumpy. I was very Australian on Dec 25: I went to the beach, slathered in sunscreen, and swam in crystal aqua water. My 2 friends and I sat in shade under trees, pledging to continue dismantling Capitalism & Patriarchy in 2018, then went home to siesta, because it’s so exhausting. New Year’s Eve was way more fun, mostly because I had my first one off for YEARS. Usually I’m on stilts somewhere, adding to the atmosphere, …
Hello dearest Readers, where some of us are already well into Xmas Eve, while some of you are still waking up into the beginning of it (time zones still amaze/confuse me). I just wanted to share my one wish for this upcoming holiday season of both celebration and stress for many of us (I’ve never been a big Xmas fan, sorry). Yesterday, as part of my performing work, I was a Golden Angel, walking on stilts in a local mall. The place was packed, with so many folk rushing from shop to shop, clutching handfuls of stuffed plastic bags, or wheeling whole trolleys full of them. Slowly we walked along, smiling without speaking, merely ringing a tiny bell. And I was doing my goddam hardest to project and inspire Kindness, Care, Empathy, and Love. I know gifts are fun, and can be meaningful symbols of love and connection; but don’t forget how valuable it is to have a truly deep meeting of minds and souls with your family members, especially if you don’t see …
Me: What are you going to do when you finish school at 18? Go to university? Or perhaps take a year off and go travelling…? Him: A year?? Mum, I’m taking a decade off!
This significant milestone just happened: 500 Followers (it’s actually zoomed up to 525 already 😃). It feels great, of course, as well as humbling, and thrilling. Thank you all! What delights me the most, by far, are the comments; I can’t believe how engaged, generous, funny, observant, and honest everyone is; thank you again. I love that we all share our experiences and stories here; it feels like a genuine community or tribe. Bless you. As I wandered round in a happy glow, with the screenshot of my official ‘500 Followers’ notification on my phone, I remembered the old days of having only 50 or so readers, back in 2015, before I decided to take this whole blogging thing more seriously in February 2016. What tips could I have given myself? What could I have read, and put into immediate practice? Here they are: Take the time to be genuine; to really ‘be yourself’. This means articulating your opinion, in both posts, and your replies to comments. Actually answer comments! I have un-followed nearly a dozen …
… And there are jars of flowers everywhere. Not fancy flowers. Nor fancy jars. Just simple, sweet offerings, from the garden outside. So lovely. When was the last time you picked wildflowers? For yourself, or someone else? In gratitude for the tiny gestures of love, G xO
I’m not a relationship guru by any means. Aged 51 now, and still never married, nor wanting to be. The longest relationship I’ve had is approx 3 years, with a whole bunch of quick romances and much solo time in the mix. But this last year has eased change into many of those old patterns like a soft new thread, specifically after reading Levine’s ‘Attached’, and ‘The Course of Love’ by Alain de Botton. Plus meeting ‘H’ too. (If you’re new round here, you probably need to read THIS to catch up). I’ve been studying relationship dynamics, specifically Attachment Theory, as it casts so much light into dark corners I’ve been hiding from since being a young girl, which I’m also exploring in therapy and other reading material. One of my favourite posts on bone&silver is The 3 Dwarves of Attachment: Grumpy, Stressy & Happy ; well worth reading to get you up to speed on our three main attachment styles (Avoidant/Anxious/Secure), with clues as to which one is yours. I believe I’ve done an honest job …
Remember that blogging expert I had a meeting with a while back? Gave me all those tips and hints HERE? She also suggested I use lots of hashtags around ‘self care’ and ‘positive ageing’, as I’m over 50, and that is apparently the current trend I need to ride. I can do that. I’m definitely a health-orientated person, becoming a vegetarian at 21, and jumping on and off that wagon over the years. As most of you know, I dance, do Pilates, walk, don’t really drink, and love a good night’s sleep more than anything. (Side note: Years ago, in a flash of inspiration, I asked my then-six year old son to describe me in a few words, as I was planning to use them for my first online dating profile on OkCupid… “Health food Drama Queen” didn’t sound as good as I hoped though). Anyway, I’ve relaxed a bit in my old age, and after the stressful challenge of learning all those lines for our show a fortnight ago HERE, but having nailed it HERE, …
… Perhaps they were sisters, cousins, or just neighbourhood friends? Both blonde, only 6 or 7, dripping wet from the warm summer sea, wrapped in large striped towels, with matching bangles and pink toe nail polish. They walked side by side, earnestly discussing the merits of using the cold water outdoor shower to wash sand off their feet, so I moved over to let them pass on the narrow track. They barely acknowledged me; too full of the adventure of a sunset swim, and being big enough to go to the beach by themselves. I wondered what I looked like to them? ‘Old’ for sure, with my silver hair. Perhaps trustworthy? People often say I have a kind face and eyes. I watched them giggle and gaggle off the sandy path, then turned up my music, so it blasted through my headphones. For just before 6pm on Thursday 7th December, the Australian Parliament finally passed our marriage equality laws, and I had to dance. Not for me; I’ve never wanted to get married, to man …
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