Love + Dating
Published on April 27, 2018
Comments 58

Hello old friend, Online Dating. You are fun, but you make me cranky too

written by
For my wellbeing over 50 I'm ready for online dating again

Ready for online dating over 50 #australia #dating #fun #newhaircut @boneAndsilver

So yes, single again, healed again, ready to launch myself into the love trenches once more. I started online dating in 2009/10, and do consider myself a bit of a legend at it.

BUT, and this is a big but, why have other people not gotten better at it over these years?

What’s the matter with people?? Where are the simple manners, the initiative, the actual reading of the profile where it says “Don’t message me if you’re in America”?

*sighs

I guess there’s always new folk finding themselves divorced or lonely, and heading online rather than to the now-defunct singles bar- does anyone over 50 actually go out anymore, cruising clubs?

Anyway, no matter who I’m messaging with, male/female/gender-fluid/non-committal etc, PLEASE follow these 3 simple rules:

  1. Actually read my profile- I spent ages getting it clear, concise, and appealing, plus articulating boundaries: no one from overseas, interstate, or currently looking for a serious monogamous relationship. Also, I don’t love sport, nor eating animals; no need to read between the lines there, JUST READ THE DAMN LINES.
  2. Respond promptly, and in kind– if I swing by a couple of times, and send a polite, friendly, interesting message, don’t wait a week then ask me ‘How ya doin’?’ Also, (and this almost deserves its own bullet point): CHECK YOUR SPELLING.
  3. Be courteous– it’s not that hard to say ‘thanks for your interest but no thanks,’ or after a week or two of messaging to decide that you’re not really feeling it, and to say the same thing, rather than merely disappearing… so childish.

Those of you who are online dating trojans (I’m looking at you Lauren [can’t believe I can’t link to your blog sorry], and Eve of Unleashing the Cougar, plus Dater Analysis) are no doubt utterly sick of experiencing the exact same problems, but I just remembered how annoying they are, so thought I’d add my two cents’ worth of complaining from Australia.

And all you connected/married/cohabiting folks, or happily-single, or just curious bystanders can now shake your wise heads at us foolish, dating demons, but I’m squaring my shoulders and going back into the fray: I will not be defeated. 

Not with this new haircut thanks!

In gratitude for fast keyboard skills, a low tolerance for bad spelling, and a positive attitude, G xO  

58 Comments

  1. Matt Berger says

    It is as though people don’t trust their own reading comprehension.

    Or they are used to other people “playing games,” so they think everybody does.

    Or they just want to throw as many darts at the board as possible (thereby ignoring what they read–or don’t bother to read–in your profile).

    Either way, yes, that would be wicked annoying.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • bone&silver says

      Thank you for your comment, and congratulations on that success. Perhaps now that everyone is on there, from young to old, it’s a bit harder to sort through all the ‘chaff’ to find the gold… I appreciate your input 😊 G

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Coyote from Orion says

    Good luck. I am still trying to get a coffee without all the passive aggressive stuff in this town 🦊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. Jad says

    Lack of manners is my pet hate, I will respond to every single message I get even if there is zero interest on my part but I am often appalled at the total lack of manners.
    What dating app do you use?

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  9. Trace-Blogs says

    My experience with online dating years ago was that it was just another tool in a dickhead’s already large toolbox. At least your eyes are open to the behaviour. As an aside, I just noticed your updated sign off and I agree wholeheartedly with your views on spelling. I’ve often thought of becoming a troll who just creeps around comments sections, silently *correcting spelling.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  11. gigglingfattie says

    The ones who don’t read my profile are the worst!! I always say in the first line that I’m a nanny and one of the first questions I always get asked is “so what job do you have?” 🎶fruatrating🎶 haha

    I’m glad you’ve healed and are onto more adventures!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • bone&silver says

      Thanks T- I just can’t believe people don’t read the profiles! What are they doing on there?? 🙄🙄

      And yes, hopefully I’ll have some fun adventures to blog about… my heart is still tender but definitely almost healed 🙏🏼❤

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  12. Coyote from Orion says

    Have found mostly dishonesty when I have only known the other person online. Have been really disappointed not so much about the person I met but that they didn’t see the initial lying as a problem.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  13. Coyote from Orion says

    Then again I don’t know why it should bother me when doctors and lawyers would charge me for much the same.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. ortensia says

    Funny one of my friend was just complaining about her last online dating experience (well in her case I’m afraid counterpart is complaining as well🤣) so I will have her read your post😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. Coyote from Orion says

    I am pretty sure that I met the real Beverly Hillbillies on one occasion. The whole nest of them was out the front having a smoke waiting for me…
    I should have just kept driving…
    It was one occasion I wished I weren’t a gentleman. I actually wished I was a landmine detector

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  16. Unleashing the Cougar says

    Trojan indeed? I’m quietly snickering while wondering what that means! Stalwarts? Aren’t Trojans things that hide and pretend to be something else? If nothing else I am authentic G! You should know that by now! Oh the bad spelling and obnoxious manners. I agree about the ghosting/disappearing but honestly, sometimes I just cannot be bothered. I did try to do the right thing last week after a truly appalling (daytime) garden date and one guess what happened. After texting politely that I didn’t think it was a good idea to meet again, I was passive-aggressively abused and insulted. That’s why women don’t tell the truth – and of course I rose above my desire to tell him EXACTLY what I thought of every aspect of his revolting self. He gave me the creeps and after reading about these vile misogynist INCELS, I can picture him as one of them, or at least the type. If you haven’t read Clem Ford’s piece on it, go check it out.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • bone&silver says

      I love Clem Ford so much- she is a warrior! Yes you’re right: maybe stalwarts is what I meant- although didn’t Trojans fight the good fight against impossible odds and succeed in the end? That’s def what I mean. And yes, like you I’m 100% authentic, and can tell that a mile away from your blog 👍🏼💪🏼❤

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      • Unleashing the Cougar says

        Thanks – you are right, the Trojans themselves tried to defend their home, but the expression ‘Trojan horse (ie Trojan for short, like the malware), has been misappropriated to mean something in disguise. Glad we’re clear on that 😉

        Liked by 2 people

        Reply
        • Coyote from Orion says

          Helen was stolen by Paris, prince of Troy…
          Wait, before that the 3 goddesses (faces of the moon) Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera asked Paris to choose the most beautiful of them. He chose Aphrodite and a thousand ships were launched. He hid with her under his father’s protection from Agamemnon.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
  19. DFMGhost says

    You are a legend! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 I found out very quickly the online dating scene is not for me. I’ll probably hit a bar more often (not necessarily a singles one) once I get my life back on track.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  20. Fozzie says

    Nice article. Good luck!
    It’s certainly a minefield and there are pot holes to avoid but the rewards can be great!
    I’m writing a book about online dating which I aim to have published soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • bone&silver says

      Thanks Fozzie for joining in the conversation- there are quite a few online daters writing books… I should have done it a few years ago! But always good fodder for blog posts 😜

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  21. zlotybaby says

    Hahaha, this reminds me of my online dating days. I really hope I will never have to do it again. I so agree with you in terms of how other people should just a) bloody read your profile and b) after they’ve bloody read your profile, listen to what it says. I remember that my profile stated many things but also two dealbreakers “I judge people who don’t like Star Wars” and “I’m an atheist and I’m not interested in dating religious people.” The first one you may argue is silly but whatever, the point is DON’T write to people if they say they don’t want to talk to you. I received numerous messages about how Star Wars sucked or how someone didn’t like Star Wars but was a Lord of the Rings fan (insert another nerdy item) so we should still chat. Of course, ignoring the second statement was more important and more annoying. Just respect other people’s deal breakers!
    So yeah, good luck with people reading your profile and respecting yours. Also, don’t feel bad for not replying if someone doesn’t, life’s too short 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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